Christmas gifts vent

[Anonymous]

The annual "what should we send the kids" texts have started from the 10 or so family members who send stuff to my kids every year. Gifts just aren't my "love language" and I dread the effort of researching and figuring out what my kids might want, and then passing along the suggestions along to the relatives. By the time we get around to our gifts for the kids, I am totally out of ideas. (Kids are 4 and 5 and don't really want anything- they have so much stuff).

This year my mom is also suggesting that the adults need to start exchanging bc it's important for the kids to see us " gifting" each other. My dad never bought her many gifts and I think she is sour about it and projecting on us, so I am trying to be kind, but honestly I am already over Christmas and it's not even December. Can anyone else relate? I am so sick of the holidays centering on gifts.

[Anonymous]

Lego gifts have always been well received from my kids. I don't let them open all at once and the ones they don't use or get duplicates of, I regift easily to their friends.

[Anonymous]

Send a list of books that you want. They can be age appropriate for now or for the future. If you need help generating a list, DCUM loves giving book recs. We will help you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The annual "what should we send the kids" texts have started from the 10 or so family members who send stuff to my kids every year. Gifts just aren't my "love language" and I dread the effort of researching and figuring out what my kids might want, and then passing along the suggestions along to the relatives. By the time we get around to our gifts for the kids, I am totally out of ideas. (Kids are 4 and 5 and don't really want anything- they have so much stuff).

This year my mom is also suggesting that the adults need to start exchanging bc it's important for the kids to see us " gifting" each other. My dad never bought her many gifts and I think she is sour about it and projecting on us, so I am trying to be kind, but honestly I am already over Christmas and it's not even December. Can anyone else relate? I am so sick of the holidays centering on gifts.

Oh man I really hate, hate gifting with extended family. It sucks! First I swear that DH is perpetually scarred from his mother never once getting him what he asked for or wanted. He does not enjoy getting gifts. He will never get around to getting them. He will never tell you what he wants because honestly he would much prefer to get it himself. MIL insists that I buy gifts , wrap them and put her name n them as if it’s from her. She promises to pay me back which she never does. To her it’s a great scam.

Second any gift from SIL comes with a lecture on how we really need this or must use it. She is very prescriptive with her gifts. You have to get her exactly what she asks for, which is fine and great for me, less work. I could do without the fifteen reminders about what she and her kids spefically want and not to substitute which I never have done.

[Anonymous]

Legos are a great suggestion. So many of those cool kits are super expensive right now. Give them the names and have them splurge or go in on together.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have anxiety around gifts. To me, her request is so innocuous and normal. Every grandmother/aunt asks this.

Let them give a gift. You don’t have to reciprocate in kind. Give them gift cards.

As for gift ideas, legos are great like the others said or let your kids talk to them on the phone and tell them directly.

You’re making it weirder than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send a list of books that you want. They can be age appropriate for now or for the future. If you need help generating a list, DCUM loves giving book recs. We will help you out.

Look at Caldecott winners, they are always good

[Anonymous]

Experiences are always great, and can be renewed each year!

Membership to a local zoo, aquarium, indoor playground, etc.

A paint your own pottery place.

Gift card to the movies.

[Anonymous]

Agree with asking for memberships or experiences. You can also ask for magazine subscriptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The annual "what should we send the kids" texts have started from the 10 or so family members who send stuff to my kids every year. Gifts just aren't my "love language" and I dread the effort of researching and figuring out what my kids might want, and then passing along the suggestions along to the relatives. By the time we get around to our gifts for the kids, I am totally out of ideas. (Kids are 4 and 5 and don't really want anything- they have so much stuff).

This year my mom is also suggesting that the adults need to start exchanging bc it's important for the kids to see us " gifting" each other. My dad never bought her many gifts and I think she is sour about it and projecting on us, so I am trying to be kind, but honestly I am already over Christmas and it's not even December. Can anyone else relate? I am so sick of the holidays centering on gifts.

Push back on your mother. Surely it's better for the kids to see you're not materialistic.

[Anonymous]

Suggest less. Suggest for extended family drawing names.

[Anonymous]

ask for a family present - like a board game. then it is one thing instead of multiple things. or a bigger lego set or a box of magna-tiles.

ask for practical stuff - soap, shampoo, towels, sheets, blankets, clothes. I will ask for t shirts from our local sports teams.

Books are also great - ask for one of their childhood favorites.


I try to keep the ideas modest in price and size of gift. And I try to remember this is a nice problem to have....that's hard sometimes...but I try.

[Anonymous]

There are some great suggestions on here- I already feel like I can tackle this list more efficiently this year.

And love the idea of the adults just drawing names.

Thanks DCUM, and feel free to keep the ideas coming!

[Anonymous]

Glow in the dark basketball
subscription kit (KiwiCrate, Crunch Labs, Universal Yums)
Baking class
Digital camera (there are some under $50 that would be good to learn with)

[Anonymous]

I seriously hate it too. Every d*mn object in this house is somehow my responsibility to manage, maintain, clean, and put away. Getting anyone else to do anything is a fight. DH is no help. I would like to purge it all and never buy a gift again.