When AP is an "upgrade"...
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Anonymous
| If you convinced your DH to stay what did you do or say? Was it about the kids or something else? I'm not talking about a midlife crisis affair going nowhere that involves someone way too young with no brains but someone who might be a serious match if he was single and is prettier, more successful, more together. Haters please don't comment and don't ask me why I'd want to be with someone like that. |
Anonymous
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All you can do is really drive home to him what joint custody lifestyle and divorce finances will be like. He won't absorb the information well from you, but you can try to make sure he hears it from your professionals.
If she's that great, why is she doing this to herself? He sounds like no prize. |
Anonymous
| If a man wants to stay, he will. If he needs a sales pitch, he’s already gone. |
Anonymous
+1 She’s not really that great if she settles for this POS. He sounds like a loser. Get rid of him. Move on. |
Anonymous
+1 He’s for the streets. |
Anonymous
| Men don't "upgrade," they fall for women who make them feel good. Cheaters are just following what feels good. There's no such thing as an "upgrade," this is a homewrecker and he is a cheater. |
Anonymous
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If he’s doing it for the kids but treats you like dirt, your kids will sense it. They will be resentful.
It never works out when he has someone on the side. They know and will wonder why you allowed him to treat you like nothing. |
Anonymous
| Everyone should grow up enough to understand that if you’re dissatisfied in your relationship, changing the person doesn’t help. He’ll feel the same way with the new woman in a few years. If he’s too stupid to see it, I’m not sure there’s much you can do. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes orchestrating your own glow up and spending time with men is enough to wake them the f up. And if it’s not, well then you’re looking good and having fun anyway. |
Anonymous
100% this. In the end, it was what he wanted. It takes 2 to marry, but only one to divorce. On paper, XH definitely upgraded. She is younger, prettier, and better credentialed than I am, but she's clearly no smarter. |
Anonymous
| If the upgrade is someone willing to break up a marriage/family then they are not an upgrade. No matter how young and pretty she is on the outside, if she wanted to destroy or steal my family the inside is pure trash. |
Anonymous
| Huh? Mine affaired down - she was married, same age, much much less attractive and no career or income. I did no convincing. I found out after he broke it off…which made her angry. Begged, begged , did everything possible to try to come back. Individual therapy, amends, quit drinking, you name it. Apparently it was some no strings thing the 2 losers agreed upon. Only it turned out to be only no strings on his side. |
Anonymous
This. And the sales pitch will give you the upper hand for the rest of your life. Capitalize on it. |
Anonymous
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She’s not better, she only thinks she is because she believed lies.
Men know what they cheat with.., women with daddy issues, and/or loose moral value system, easily duped and pathetic even if their packaging has curb appeal. Every single one of my friends who hooked up with a married man, always thought they were better. They never were. |
Anonymous
| Most men don't need convincing, especially breadwinners. They don't want to give up half their assets and pay child support and alimony, and they are afraid of solo parenting. Just read those boards. Several men post here to justify and feel better about cheating, but have no interest in divorce. |