Odd situation with the school
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Anonymous
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I have a 12 yo with audhd. Generally he does fine at school. Recently, he and his friends have been using 'autistic' as an adjective to describe themselves and each other, when they're acting weird. Among his friend group, it hasn't been perceived as an insult and seems to be something of a cultural trend or norm, and in some ways i thought it actually had some benefit as normalizing it in an odd way. Recently however he called his brothers best friend (who is 9) 'autistic'. The 9 year old (who is not autistic) was understandably upset by this. We spoke at length about it as a family and had the 12 year old speak with the 9 year old to apologize. A couple teachers from the school then reached out to us and asked that my 12 year old, as an act of 'restorative justice', watch a video about what it's like to be autistic, and complete an exercise outlining what it feels like (per the video) and why it might be hurtful to be called autistic. These teachers didn't loop in any of my child's usual team. I found it baffling, given that my child has been there since he was 2 years old, that they didn't think to check first with anyone, and pointed out to them that asking an autistic child to watch a video about what it might feel like to be autistic, and then complete an exercise about why it would feel hurtful to be called autistic, was obviously not a good idea. Instead of admitting this, the school doubled down and said there were resources in what they'd sent that would be useful, and asked us if we 'object' to the exercise, to then suggest something 'more appropriate'
I have found this chain of events to be..... suboptimal. Less asking for advice and more venting, to be honest. I'm sure we'll end up in a good place with an appropriate exercise for him but the whole thing has just been complicated and a little weird. |
Anonymous
| It's just the new "reeeetard" word kids use for an insult now. Synonym. |
Anonymous
I’m not sure if as malicious, bc the kids seem to refer to themselves as it |
Anonymous
| There’s a Reddit thread about this (I can’t share but you can google) and someone in it described it well ‘ I think maybe a contributing factor is that its become big with gen z and alpha to label normal human quirks as autistic and there's videos all over tiktok listing 'traits' of autism that again are just normal quirks. Its also become very socially acceptable to label your friends as autistic based on these things. I'm gen z and see it literally all the time. So in some circles now calling yourself and others autistic is like half part of fitting in socially, half considered funny and a meme. A lot of these kids probably believe that they and all their friends are autistic based on very little (absolutely nothing against well considered self dx but I think this is a different thing)’ |
Anonymous
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There are a lot of stupid people in schools.
Tell the school to find a different video. |
Anonymous
Yes, these days it's like how people used to say that they were ADHD. Being ND is more commonly talked about and more acceptable. The slang words I have heard that teens are using are "acoustic" and "regarded". Those words get by censors and filters. |
Anonymous
It’s not acceptable to use as an insult. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s a word commonly used now and I’m not sure it’s really an insult. The concepts of ADHD and autism have made a strong entrance into that age group. Middle schoolers aren’t the most nuanced people around. I think it’s generally reflecting back the higher profile of those diagnoses. |
Anonymous
Right, it’s becoming much more normalized. A lot of kids will use it self referentially, autistic and non. I hear it used not as an insult but just like - you’re being extra. It goes some way to removing stigma |
Anonymous
+1 OP I agree with you, this chain of events is suboptimal! |
Anonymous
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OP, I’m 8:38 and responded without fully reading your post. Wow, what a dumb response by the school. I would say it’s surprising but I have a kid in special ed so it’s not too surprising.
How frustrating! |
Anonymous
Another +1 From what I hear about my kids soooo many kids at school throw these terms (and yes the R word) and probably more I don't know about very freely. Teachers don't care- they have bigger fish to fry and afaik it's not against the code of conduct either. It's strange to single out a kid - I wouldn't have it. If the VPrincipal had an assembly on it and told all kids to watch their terms and show a video I'd be okay with that. Not thrilled because our VP is over the top anyways, but that's a separate issue 
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Anonymous
| I’d tell them your child is to be nowhere near restorative justice. |
Anonymous
| Be like, my child is autistic and didn’t mean it as an insult. He , in a black and white manner, told that child he was acting autistic. Are you meaning we should sit my son down and have him write an essay on why being told you are autistic is an insult? Can you explain to my son why his diagnosis is supposed to be considered an insult? |
Anonymous
| I would not allow my child to be used as an example for restorative justice purposes. |