How to handle this

[Anonymous]

My DH and I share a car. He WFH and I was recently laid off and staying home with our toddler while I job hunt. Today a friend invited us over for the day and I asked my husband if he would take an Uber to his eye doctor appointment, which was scheduled at noon. He freaked out and said a bunch of hurtful things, including “you’re ridiculous” and “you don’t listen to me.” Maybe it doesn’t sound like much but it hurt me a lot, and I cried. This was an overreaction, no? How do I address?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I share a car. He WFH and I was recently laid off and staying home with our toddler while I job hunt. Today a friend invited us over for the day and I asked my husband if he would take an Uber to his eye doctor appointment, which was scheduled at noon. He freaked out and said a bunch of hurtful things, including “you’re ridiculous” and “you don’t listen to me.” Maybe it doesn’t sound like much but it hurt me a lot, and I cried. This was an overreaction, no? How do I address?

Doctor appointments take priority over "job hunting". Anyone should know this. He needed the car for reliable transport, and not relying on sketchy Uber tweakers.

You were in the wrong. He felt your selfish behavior was hurtful. You need to make it up to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I share a car. He WFH and I was recently laid off and staying home with our toddler while I job hunt. Today a friend invited us over for the day and I asked my husband if he would take an Uber to his eye doctor appointment, which was scheduled at noon. He freaked out and said a bunch of hurtful things, including “you’re ridiculous” and “you don’t listen to me.” Maybe it doesn’t sound like much but it hurt me a lot, and I cried. This was an overreaction, no? How do I address?

Doctor appointments take priority over "job hunting". Anyone should know this. He needed the car for reliable transport, and not relying on sketchy Uber tweakers.

You were in the wrong. He felt your selfish behavior was hurtful. You need to make it up to him.

Agree - doctor appointment was also scheduled first. Could your friend not pick you up or come to you, OP?

[Anonymous]

You were wrong. He had a preplanned medical appointment and had to work. You spontaneously wanted to play.

You were ridiculous and you didn’t listen to him. Any overreaction was on your part.

[Anonymous]

Wanted to add that if
You’ve been laid off and supporting the family is on his shoulders, you can’t mess with his work, which is what you did by asking him to change his day to an alternative transportation that could take more time away from work.

How to deal? Apologize
For not recognizing that you were oblivious and thank him for what he’s doing for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I share a car. He WFH and I was recently laid off and staying home with our toddler while I job hunt. Today a friend invited us over for the day and I asked my husband if he would take an Uber to his eye doctor appointment, which was scheduled at noon. He freaked out and said a bunch of hurtful things, including “you’re ridiculous” and “you don’t listen to me.” Maybe it doesn’t sound like much but it hurt me a lot, and I cried. This was an overreaction, no? How do I address?

Overreaction and bizarre. I would have had no problem taking Uber in this situation and letting my spouse take the car with the car seat.

[Anonymous]

Idk. You’re home with the toddler and taking the toddler to your friends? I would tell DH to uber for sure. Mom and toddler need the car more than an adult man who can easily uber.

[Anonymous]

I would have gone to the friends on a different day and let him use the car. I’m too cheap for uber..

[Anonymous]

The doctors appointment is more of a priority over socializing with friends… especially while unemployed ma’am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk. You’re home with the toddler and taking the toddler to your friends? I would tell DH to uber for sure. Mom and toddler need the car more than an adult man who can easily uber.

You wouldn't stay married long unless you had a really beaten down man.

[Anonymous]

Overreaction on both of your parts. You’re probably both stressed from the job loss. I’m sorry. Try to go easy on him, and ask for the same grace from him. This didn’t have to turn into a big deal; no one had to be right or wrong. Good luck on the job hunt.

[Anonymous]

Its time for 2 cars.

[Anonymous]

He had first dibs on the car as his schedule predated yours.

[Anonymous]

Have you pulled your toddler out of childcare? Maybe he thinks you aren't planning to go back to work and are just planning on a life of lunching and having he car while he works and tries to fit in appointments etc.

[Anonymous]

How far is each person going? Uber is expensive and when you are down an income, you can't be using Uber all the time. It adds up. If your lunch was a lot closer, you should have been the one to Uber.

Maybe he had just squeezed the appointment in between work commitments and the need to wait for an Uber and not have any control over your transportation threw him off. Uber can easily take twice as long as driving yourself.