Church lock in?

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader wants to go a church youth group lock in at our church. I remember going to these at that age, but now I think it seems a little weird. I’m not overly strict with friends houses when I know the parents but I feel a little weird letting my kids spend the night with a bunch of adult chaperones where I don’t know all of them. They’re also taking them to a trampoline park way out in the middle of nowhere after dark at this “lock in”.

Am i overthinking?

[Anonymous]

I think they are the most ridiculous idea ever

[Anonymous]

My church does it (Episcopal). They are extremely strict re: the two adults always at any time—like literally every minute. Eg They have more than two adults so people can go to the bathroom.

My kids absolutely love it! I would check what their safety protocols are though.

[Anonymous]

I did them as a kid and they were fine. Sent my kid to one and kid was assaulted by another kid.
You are right to question.

[Anonymous]

Do not send your kid to something like this! You are right to think it's weird.

[Anonymous]

You’re an adult and your child’s parent.
Say no.

[Anonymous]

I think the helicopter parenting has gone too far. Assuming you aren't uncomfortable with your church leadership or the youth pastors, why shouldn't your kids go?

Obviously if I had any doubts I'd say no, but if I trusted the youth leaders, who I imagine your kids have experience with from youth group/Sunday School/whsatever, there's no issue.

[Anonymous]

Our youth minister growing up wound up in jail a few years later for sexual offenses with several boys from our parish and previous parishes. I’m not keen to send my kids to these types of events.

[Anonymous]

HPV super spreader!!

[Anonymous]

OP call or talk with in person (don't email) the lock in organizers. Ask if all the chaperones have taken your church's version of the safe church/abuse course, and whether they have systems in place to make sure adults will not be in situations alone with teens.

If they seem surprised by your questions or unable to give details, that's a bad sign. If they have answers ready and you can tell they have thought - and talked with church staff and volunteers - about protocols for safety, that's a good sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP call or talk with in person (don't email) the lock in organizers. Ask if all the chaperones have taken your church's version of the safe church/abuse course, and whether they have systems in place to make sure adults will not be in situations alone with teens.

If they seem surprised by your questions or unable to give details, that's a bad sign. If they have answers ready and you can tell they have thought - and talked with church staff and volunteers - about protocols for safety, that's a good sign.

Agree with this

[Anonymous]

My 8th grader just went to one at our Church but left at 10pm. I didn’t want her spending the night and being a wreck the next day on very little sleep.
I totally trust the chaperones though. And my kid knows enough about boundaries.
If your kid is in 6th grade and wants to spend the night I’d let him. Unless he’s very immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader wants to go a church youth group lock in at our church. I remember going to these at that age, but now I think it seems a little weird. I’m not overly strict with friends houses when I know the parents but I feel a little weird letting my kids spend the night with a bunch of adult chaperones where I don’t know all of them. They’re also taking them to a trampoline park way out in the middle of nowhere after dark at this “lock in”.

Am i overthinking?

You are not overthinking. Church youth group is creepy even at its most mild. This is extreme. This is isn't remotely family friendly or God-centered. Where in the Bible did Jesus command adults to host sleepovers with unrelated children and take them to trampoline parks in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night? How does any of this teach kids about religious traditions, morality, or whatever it is that church is supposed to teach kids?

Perverts love to get positions at churches, because naive parents tell themselves that since it's a church event it must be safe and wholesome. They are counting on you to let your guard down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP call or talk with in person (don't email) the lock in organizers. Ask if all the chaperones have taken your church's version of the safe church/abuse course, and whether they have systems in place to make sure adults will not be in situations alone with teens.

If they seem surprised by your questions or unable to give details, that's a bad sign. If they have answers ready and you can tell they have thought - and talked with church staff and volunteers - about protocols for safety, that's a good sign.

Agree with this

+1. Any organization like this should have strong youth protection policies in place - as a parent, you need to know what they are and how they're implemented. They need to prevent any one adult being alone with kids, and they also need methods to prevent youth-on-youth abuse. And they SHOULD want every parent to be aware of those policies, so if they're not willing to talk about them, big red flag.

Ask if you can volunteer to chaperone. Their answer should be that you need to complete the training and background check first. If they don't require that of every adult there - that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely NOT send my child to one of these. You would not believe the things that happened at the lock-ins when I was a teen. Dirty, dirty things. We were supposed to be supervised at all times, too, but we definitely were not. And the supervisors were college kids, so they were basically teens themselves. I still shudder just thinking about it.