Report card today

[Anonymous]

I just get alert that school send home report card today. I login their accounts a few days ago, and I knew their report card score. One kid gets straight As as always, and the other one gets a few "I" which means "in progress" instead of " proficient" and a few areas are "below average". I need some nice words or compliments to the one that has been struggling with learning. I am frustrated too, but I know academic is not this child's strength. The straight As will get a reward from DH because DH tells him so. He only gets a reward on all As only, and it has been so easy to him effortlessly. There's almost no score improvement on the other kid, what excuse and prize I can give (just for efforts and promote encouragement ).

[Anonymous]

I'd divorce it from the report card and instead give the other kid something if he can master specific skills that you think will be in his capabilities. Tying his shoes, memorizing the multiplication table, learning cursive, etc. More concrete goals to work for, and more in his (and your) control.

[Anonymous]

The all A one must be in middle school and the one who gets checks for in progress or proficient must be in elementary school.

If it’s a typical elementary school report card there’s probably 10-15 subcategories under each subject plus teacher input. It’s easier to find something in there to discuss positively.

Hopefully your husband isn’t one of those aholes that favors the kid who gets better scores.

[Anonymous]

My parents focused on effort. “We see you working hard and are really proud of your effort. I understand that there are times you are frustrated but you keep working and that is impressive. Here is how Dad and I are going to support you. All the hard work you are putting in is working though. Do you see how you are doing examples here better? That is amazing.”

The key is you frame the conversation with both kids based on effort. They might need to put effort in in different ways but you focus in on the fact that the one with good grades is doing a great job listening to the teacher and finding ways to do other things when they are done in class. They are not distracting other kids who are working and that is hard to do.

DS has been a solid 4 student and is now a straight A student in MS. He is smart and doesn’t have learning issues or other factors that make learning hard. We still focus on his effort. The homework assignment we saw him spend 5 minutes on was a B. A B is a good grade but if he had made the effort to spend more time on it, it would have been a higher grade.Our job, for him, is to help him develop good study skills and work skills when school isn’t hard. So we praise his effort when he comes home and reviews notes for his harder classes before playing video games, even when he doesn’t have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents focused on effort. “We see you working hard and are really proud of your effort. I understand that there are times you are frustrated but you keep working and that is impressive. Here is how Dad and I are going to support you. All the hard work you are putting in is working though. Do you see how you are doing examples here better? That is amazing.”

The key is you frame the conversation with both kids based on effort. They might need to put effort in in different ways but you focus in on the fact that the one with good grades is doing a great job listening to the teacher and finding ways to do other things when they are done in class. They are not distracting other kids who are working and that is hard to do.

DS has been a solid 4 student and is now a straight A student in MS. He is smart and doesn’t have learning issues or other factors that make learning hard. We still focus on his effort. The homework assignment we saw him spend 5 minutes on was a B. A B is a good grade but if he had made the effort to spend more time on it, it would have been a higher grade.Our job, for him, is to help him develop good study skills and work skills when school isn’t hard. So we praise his effort when he comes home and reviews notes for his harder classes before playing video games, even when he doesn’t have to.

+1

Don’t reward either kid for their grades, celebrate the hard work they both put in. Also, point out that knowledge is the goal, not the grade. Grades are just a rough indicator of how much is being learned.

Poor grades indicate that they may need extra help to learn the necessary content, so it’s an opportunity to discuss how you can help them (communicating with teacher, tutoring, screening, etc.). Similarly, while all As is an indicator that the child is doing well, too much emphasis on grades can eventually make it tempting to focus on the grade more than the content (cramming to learn something just long enough for a test, cheating, etc.).

[Anonymous]

I take my kids out for ice cream when they get their report cards as a celebration for putting in hard work.

[Anonymous]

My parents always did a special dessert or a restaurant trip to celebrate report cards if we did well. I think doing "well" is relative. There was one time when my brother got a C in 8th grade science, and my parents rightly told him that it wasn't worth celebrating, knowing that he could have done better if he'd checked his attitude at the classroom door. Likewise, my N in behavior in fourth grade did not get celebrated. But if the report card represents a genuine and serious effort, even if the grades aren't perfect, that seems worthy of celebration to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents always did a special dessert or a restaurant trip to celebrate report cards if we did well. I think doing "well" is relative. There was one time when my brother got a C in 8th grade science, and my parents rightly told him that it wasn't worth celebrating, knowing that he could have done better if he'd checked his attitude at the classroom door. Likewise, my N in behavior in fourth grade did not get celebrated. But if the report card represents a genuine and serious effort, even if the grades aren't perfect, that seems worthy of celebration to me.

Science grades on attitudes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents always did a special dessert or a restaurant trip to celebrate report cards if we did well. I think doing "well" is relative. There was one time when my brother got a C in 8th grade science, and my parents rightly told him that it wasn't worth celebrating, knowing that he could have done better if he'd checked his attitude at the classroom door. Likewise, my N in behavior in fourth grade did not get celebrated. But if the report card represents a genuine and serious effort, even if the grades aren't perfect, that seems worthy of celebration to me.

Science grades on attitudes?

I suspect the attitude led to not turning in work and doing assignments so getting a C instead of a higher grade. That was my older siblings, although they were strong B students who should have been A students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents always did a special dessert or a restaurant trip to celebrate report cards if we did well. I think doing "well" is relative. There was one time when my brother got a C in 8th grade science, and my parents rightly told him that it wasn't worth celebrating, knowing that he could have done better if he'd checked his attitude at the classroom door. Likewise, my N in behavior in fourth grade did not get celebrated. But if the report card represents a genuine and serious effort, even if the grades aren't perfect, that seems worthy of celebration to me.

Science grades on attitudes?

I suspect the attitude led to not turning in work and doing assignments so getting a C instead of a higher grade. That was my older siblings, although they were strong B students who should have been A students.

That’s a poor student whose grades amounted to a C. It happens.