What's the best insult you've ever heard?

[Anonymous]

I recently heard "You're dumber than a day-old donut," and maybe it's the alliteration, but I am really loving it. Your turn!

[Anonymous]

The Jerk Store called . . .

[Anonymous]

Kind of an insult. Giving a wedding speech, "it's always a pleasure to come to one of John's weddings."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Jerk Store called . . .

And they're running out of YOU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently heard "You're dumber than a day-old donut," and maybe it's the alliteration, but I am really loving it. Your turn!

That doesn't even make sense. Sounds like what the PreK kid of a cop would say. You need to up your game. Start with some "yo momma" jokes and work up from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently heard "You're dumber than a day-old donut," and maybe it's the alliteration, but I am really loving it. Your turn!

That doesn't even make sense. Sounds like what the PreK kid of a cop would say. You need to up your game. Start with some "yo momma" jokes and work up from there.

Yo momma jokes were popular three decades ago. The donut one is at least more original.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of an insult. Giving a wedding speech, "it's always a pleasure to come to one of John's weddings."

I laughed out
Loud.

[Anonymous]

Not intentional but I overheard a grad school classmate tell one of our cohort after meeting his fiancé over the weekend
“it was a nice to meet larla. I was pleasantly……………impressed” (crazy long pause, tiny mouse voice for “impressed”)

[Anonymous]

Starting with what sounds like a compliment and then when they are all smiling, anticipating the praise, add the criticism.

Ex: I can always count on you to….ruin the party.

You have a phenomenal ability to…..wreck the simplest desert.

Wow, I’ve never seen anybody with your talent for…..wearing thrift store clothes with such confidence.

[Anonymous]

Big girl, black roots

[Anonymous]

Shakespeare was the all time master of creative insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently heard "You're dumber than a day-old donut," and maybe it's the alliteration, but I am really loving it. Your turn!

That doesn't even make sense. Sounds like what the PreK kid of a cop would say. You need to up your game. Start with some "yo momma" jokes and work up from there.

Yo momma jokes were popular three decades ago. The donut one is at least more original.

Cope. Your insults are weak yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shakespeare was the all time master of creative insults.

Yes! I have the Shakespearean insult coffee mug with a list of insults wrapped around it. It’s hanging next to the grumpy cat mug. Not sure what that says about me ..but I digress.

Some listed:
"Thou art a boil, a plague sore"
"beetle-headed flap-ear'd knave"
"Away, you three inch fool"
"Thou artless fen-sucked foot-licker"
"I am sick when I do look upon thee"
Oh gull, O dolt, As ignorant as dirt"
"lump of foul deformity"

[Anonymous]

Did you know they used to call it a jumpoline?

(What?)

Yeah, but then your mom got on one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you know they used to call it a jumpoline?

(What?)

Yeah, but then your mom got on one.

Ok, this is funny!