37 year old son unemployed

[Anonymous]

My 37 year old son has recently moved back home after being unemployed for the past three years and watching his attempt at self employment fail. He also recently divorced his wife of 8 years as she wanted a family and he is still finding himself.

He is depressed and spends most of the day napping and watching tv. What can I do to help?

[Anonymous]

He needs medication and therapy

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Sounds like a nice easy life at 37.What a burden on you & your spouse.

Anyways, He needs job and own place ASAP. However, you can’t want that more for him than he does.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You can help him seek treatment for his depression. Finding himself, at 37?

[Anonymous]

Make him get a job and go on antidepressants. Do not enable and coddle him.

[Anonymous]

I would make living you contingent on receiving counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make him get a job and go on antidepressants. Do not enable and coddle him.

Agree. He needs to clean up after himself, dishes, laundry, make dinner, help with yard work, etc.

Most of all he needs those antidepressants, first - so he can start finding a job and get back on his feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can help him seek treatment for his depression. Finding himself, at 37?

Yeah, I think he done found himself, and didn't like it. And now he's depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs medication and therapy

No ! The above post is total BS.

He needs a job. He needs to grow up and get a job--any job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make him get a job and go on antidepressants. Do not enable and coddle him.

Agree. He needs to clean up after himself, dishes, laundry, make dinner, help with yard work, etc.

Most of all he needs those antidepressants, first - so he can start finding a job and get back on his feet.

Disagree. Many on antidepressants have thought of suicide. Don't make the problem worse.

He needs to exercise daily & he needs to get a job.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

[Anonymous]

In the meantime make him the grocery shopper, cook, housekeeper in exchange for his room and board. That may make a different job and depression treatment look like a more appealing option!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

That does not qualify as an "abusive marriage".

What type/subject area is his master's degree ?

FWIW Lots of well educated individuals work at low level jobs (think Starbucks/Walmart/Home Depot/Lowes/tutoring students) in order to get into the workforce and earn money. Everyone has to start somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

This is OP. MA in European Studies.
That does not qualify as an "abusive marriage".

What type/subject area is his master's degree ?

FWIW Lots of well educated individuals work at low level jobs (think Starbucks/Walmart/Home Depot/Lowes/tutoring students) in order to get into the workforce and earn money. Everyone has to start somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

You sound like you’re making excuses for him. Presuming work like is from ~22 to ~65, he’s 1/3 of the way through. Who does he think should support him.

I work with people who got injured on the job. I see people in their 50s and 60s retraining for new types of employment.

I also have a child with mental health issues who lives with me. I do not give him even ten cents of support - he needs to work if he wants anything besides a bedroom and the groceries I buy. And as a requirement for living in my house he needs to work and/or be in job training. Presently he’s doing both.

There are jobs. He might not like them. But they exist and if you all relate not creative enough to find them, I’m sure we can start a list for you. Like how about being a caretaker for the elderly. He could do in home or institutional work. Or working in a nursing home kitchen. Or stocking shelves at Target or a grocery store.

What I’ve found with my son is that success begets success. You have to start before you can move up. And no job is beneath you if you don’t have one.