Need advice. Teen is upset his girlfriend (both are 17) posts on social media, hanging on other boys.

[Anonymous]

He came home in angry tears last night, and wants to break up with her.

He claims he told her it bothered him already and she’s continued and is ‘disrespectful’

Honestly I want to give him advice, but he also showed me the pics, and they didn’t seem that bad to me. They’re teens. He doesn’t own her.

Wwyd? What advice would you give? Single mom here

[Anonymous]

Just break up already

[Anonymous]

If the pics aren’t actually “bad,” tell your kid he doesn’t own her or get to control her.

[Anonymous]

Let him know he doesn’t own her. Let him know you don’t think the photos are bad. Let him know if you think he’s too sensitive. And let him know he has the option to break up. It’s pretty simple.

As the mom of a girl whose boyfriend wants to act like he owns her, I wish his mom would see this stuff and tell him these things.

[Anonymous]

Are they what used to be called going steady eg exclusive? If so and these are after that commitment he has a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they what used to be called going steady eg exclusive? If so and these are after that commitment he has a point.

No, he does not have a point. He doesn't get to control her.

[Anonymous]

His response to her is probably worse than her behavior. They are each in the beginnings of exploring what makes a good match. They learn along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they what used to be called going steady eg exclusive? If so and these are after that commitment he has a point.

Yes, definitely exclusive. I can understand why he feels a little jealous. She is definitely hanging on these guys in photos (and according to him, she has hooked up with them in the past), but I also want to convey to him that people are imperfect and he needs to hold his boundaries if he feels upset, but also do it in a respectful way. He's not a great communicator with me (to be expected) but I want him to learn that he needs to be better out in the world with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His response to her is probably worse than her behavior. They are each in the beginnings of exploring what makes a good match. They learn along the way.

Well, he hasn't responded to her. He was telling me. But yes, he was definitely upset. He went to the gym late last night to work off his feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him know he doesn’t own her. Let him know you don’t think the photos are bad. Let him know if you think he’s too sensitive. And let him know he has the option to break up. It’s pretty simple.

As the mom of a girl whose boyfriend wants to act like he owns her, I wish his mom would see this stuff and tell him these things.

Op here- Yep, I got it. That's what I am trying to do.

[Anonymous]

You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the pics aren’t actually “bad,” tell your kid he doesn’t own her or get to control her.

I mean, what do I know? But she's not making out with anyone in the pics, just sort of hanging on these guys a little. Ds claims that there is a history with her and these two guys (past hook ups) and that's why it makes him particularly uncomfortable. I sort of understand that, but again, they're teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

Yeah, I think they should break up too. But I'm not going to push him either way. She's a partier and he is not really, so there's always been a disconnect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him know he doesn’t own her. Let him know you don’t think the photos are bad. Let him know if you think he’s too sensitive. And let him know he has the option to break up. It’s pretty simple.

As the mom of a girl whose boyfriend wants to act like he owns her, I wish his mom would see this stuff and tell him these things.

Op here- Yep, I got it. That's what I am trying to do.

PP is ridiculous. If your daughter’s boyfriend is trying to “act like he owns her”, advise your daughter to break up with him. Don’t try to tell boys how they should feel or tell their mothers how they should raise them.

Everyone just needs to find a partner who shares the same fundamental values and stop thinking that their feelings or beliefs are more valid than someone else’s. This really isn’t hard.

(And FWIW I have a teen boy and a teen girl.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they what used to be called going steady eg exclusive? If so and these are after that commitment he has a point.

No, he does not have a point. He doesn't get to control her.

You’re either in an open relationship or you’re full of shit.