Dating scene at state schools

[Anonymous]

DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

[Anonymous]

It's November. I would give it some time.

I would also be worried about the guy she does finally end up with if she is this desperate for a boyfriend. Desperation drops standards.

[Anonymous]

Transfer in hopes of finding a boyfriend? Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Go north grasshopper

[Anonymous]

Tinder.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid and college who was a freshman and could have written the first part of this period. The report is exactly the same: you either came in with a significant other from high school, or it’s just about hooking up. That is not my kids child, so it’s a little frustrating, but it’s also only November a freshman year. My kid would not consider transferring just for that reason.

[Anonymous]

*not my kid’s style

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go north grasshopper

What does that mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's November. I would give it some time.

I would also be worried about the guy she does finally end up with if she is this desperate for a boyfriend. Desperation drops standards.

It’s November.

99% of the high-school romances carried over into college will soon be over. Just watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid and college who was a freshman and could have written the first part of this period. The report is exactly the same: you either came in with a significant other from high school, or it’s just about hooking up. That is not my kids child, so it’s a little frustrating, but it’s also only November a freshman year. My kid would not consider transferring just for that reason.

Is she south?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m more concerned. she’s ok for now. It’s not about having a boyfriend per se, but seemingly lack of quality guys period. Just more hookup and party. I would have loved ot see her a private school but he likely wouldn’t have gotten in in this landscape and only wanted warm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m more concerned. she’s ok for now. It’s not about having a boyfriend per se, but seemingly lack of quality guys period. Just more hookup and party. I would have loved ot see her a private school but he likely wouldn’t have gotten in in this landscape and only wanted warm.

Private schools really aren’t different when it comes to dating. Plenty of hookups there and carryover long term relationships. College in general is a big hookup culture, regardless of which college or location, especially freshman year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

Are you expecting her to find her soul mate in college? Rarity anymore. Likely wont happen until late-20s, early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's November. I would give it some time.

I would also be worried about the guy she does finally end up with if she is this desperate for a boyfriend. Desperation drops standards.

It’s November.

99% of the high-school romances carried over into college will soon
be over. Just watch.

Many of them are together here or close by. Not long distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m more concerned. she’s ok for now. It’s not about having a boyfriend per se, but seemingly lack of quality guys period. Just more hookup and party. I would have loved ot see her a private school but he likely wouldn’t have gotten in in this landscape and only wanted warm.

So your kid picked the school she wanted and is happy there, but the one thing she’s not 100% happy with is the fall term freshman year dating scene, and you’re here seeking permission to leverage that to make her transfer to the northern private school you wanted all along (that might very well have a very similar dating scene).

You’re being awful. Let your 18 year old be happy and single at the school she picked where she is happy.