If your parents live nearby and you get along, how often do you see them

[Anonymous]

My parents live 20 minutes away and we typically see them once a week. I would like to see them more but it feels hard with a full time job, a kid with activities and weekday traffic. Curious about others.

[Anonymous]

Mine are an hour away, we see them about once a month. It's just a bit too far to get together for dinner or something on a regular basis, any visit is most of a day.

[Anonymous]

OP, what does that once a week look like? They come to you? You meet somewhere? For most of the day, or what? I'm curious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what does that once a week look like? They come to you? You meet somewhere? For most of the day, or what? I'm curious

Lately it is usually dinner and we trade off so we have them over or they will have us over. If we go over to them for dinner we usually stay for 2-3 hours but if we do lunch then it might be longer.

[Anonymous]

And OP, when you say you'd like to see them more, is not guilt, feeling bad, right? If they came to you, would that mean you could incorporate them into your day-to-day life more? Do they drive at night? Even if they tell you it's fine, and they do it, do you think they are hesitant to?

[Anonymous]

An hour away and about once a month also. If it were 20 min it would be more often, more spontaneous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And OP, when you say you'd like to see them more, is not guilt, feeling bad, right? If they came to you, would that mean you could incorporate them into your day-to-day life more? Do they drive at night? Even if they tell you it's fine, and they do it, do you think they are hesitant to?

No, not guilt. I just miss them during the week. They drive at night but I don't think they like it. Them coming here on weekdays is tough because the traffic is so bad in that direction. For us we could maybe swing dinner on a weekday, it just feels exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Same pp again, 2-3 hours once a week is likely all you could give to your best friend, as an example. You probably don't want them to just drop-in unannounced.

Maybe it's some larger aspect of closeness you're actually wishing for? Which I think is ordinary and can't ever be satisfied completely. I'm interested in your post, and following, since we are older and are considering moving closer to an adult child. How much we can count on seeing them is definitely a factor.

[Anonymous]

same pp, do they complain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:same pp, do they complain?

My mom has in the past, not really anymore I think she is used to the status quo but I know should would love to see us more

[Anonymous]

Know that them just hanging out with you is all they want. They doesn't need it to be dinner. You don't need to host. They can help you. Help with laundry. Help picking-up the house. Or they sit on the couch and watch whatever anyone else is watching. To engage with your whole family in your day-to-day life is sweet, if you can get to the point of that casualness.

[Anonymous]

Mine live 30 mins away. See them once or twice a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same pp again, 2-3 hours once a week is likely all you could give to your best friend, as an example. You probably don't want them to just drop-in unannounced.

Maybe it's some larger aspect of closeness you're actually wishing for? Which I think is ordinary and can't ever be satisfied completely. I'm interested in your post, and following, since we are older and are considering moving closer to an adult child. How much we can count on seeing them is definitely a factor.

That's fair.

Yes it is hard if they are working full time. I am sure it will also depend on how close you can live. We could not afford to buy when my parents live. We're not that far but with traffic it is not fun.

[Anonymous]

same pp of many posts again, Op sounds like you are going great.

[Anonymous]

We could not afford to buy when my parents live. We're not that far but with traffic it is not fun.

Sounds like you should switch houses. Do *they* have the bigger house, what would be an easier commute if you lived there, with better schools?