Girl friendships at school different these days?
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Anonymous
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I'm a generation X mom- Growing up I had a very great group of female friendships. There was a lot of bullying that occurred from other kids outside my friendship group that I was wary of-- but I could trust and count on my friends. I grew up in an upper middle class area
DD is 11 and at a public school in a upper middle class area. The pattern I've seen more is different girls within friendship groups creating drama and doing relational bullying. Not sure if this is just unique to her public school or a larger current generational trend--or maybe I just was lucky with the girls I grew up with. |
Anonymous
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I don't think it's a generational thing, but it gets worse.
-mom of 17 yr HS girl who has had sooo much friend drama from ES to now. |
Anonymous
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Relational bullying has been going on forever. If you didn’t experience it- I think you are lucky (or maybe remembering selectively?)
It’s normal, though it seems some kids don’t get involved |
Anonymous
| I think it's always been a thing op, but it's gotten so much worse. I had a very small group of school friends, but was way close to my neighborhood friends, so much less drama. |
Anonymous
| I don’t understand what you are saying |
Anonymous
| I remember friends groups being much more co-ed back in my high schools days. How it seems very single gendered. I think friend groups are less drama and more balanced when they are gender mixed. |
Anonymous
Social media makes it easier to bully. |
Anonymous
| There was some of that in late elementary and early middle school, but in our experience things settled in 8th grade. Maybe my DD just lucked out, but she has very secure and happy friendships. They are low-drama and trust each other. My Gen X experience was fine, but not that positive. Hoping this continues into HS! |
Anonymous
| It’s a bad friend group. Try to push other friendships for your kid. |
Anonymous
| I was born in the 80’s and the bullying was so awful at my upper middle class school. The things I see today pale in comparison. I think it’s just luck if you end up with a good group in your age range at school. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s very kid dependent. Some of them are drawn to being in these types of groups and some aren’t. If your child doesn’t want to be involved in these dynamics they will remove themselves. |
Anonymous
| Girls can be nasty. It's starts young and never seems to end (some mom's are just as nasty). I see girls moving between friend groups more often than when I was in HS. My DD has "friends", who seem more like acquaintances at this point (she's a junior). I personally feel the parenting in this area is part of t he problem. I grew up in the Northeast and it was (and still is) much different than what I have seen living in NoVA. |
Anonymous
| I actually think there’s way less bullying nowadays. My 5th grade DD is part of the biggest friend group at our local DCPS, but it’s very inclusive adding girls each year and in general gets along well with the other smaller groups of girls in their grade as well as with the big groups the year ahead of them (now graduated) and behind them. The girls are nice to others the majority of the time and to each other virtually all the time. |
Anonymous
| I had a great friend group in high school and college with no relational bullying and now see more relational bullying as an adult. It makes me wonder if I should have experienced more of this when I was younger so it wouldn't shock me as much as an adult. |
Anonymous
| You were lucky. Bullying has occurred forever. |