Meet the parents & safe sex talk resources

[Anonymous]

Hi all- I am a bi-woman, who has been married to a man for over 20 years. I’ve always been attracted to both women and men but never explored same sex dating due to a strict family upbringing and living in conservative areas. I have been working with a therapist on my sexual identity for a few years and accept myself as a bi- person. I haven’t yet decided if I feel the need to “come out” to my family, friends or work colleagues at this time.

All that being said, my teen daughter just came out to me and she has a girlfriend. They first met in middle school but now attend different high schools.

I am so happy for my daughter and want to support her however I can. She shared that her girlfriend’s parents want to meet me. My daughter asked that I not tell her dad about her girlfriend yet or being “chosen” by her to meet her girlfriend’s parents instead of him.

I know I have huge gaps in knowledge about lesbian dating, sex and social conventions. If my daughter told me that she had a boyfriend, I would want to meet his parents and have a discussion about what the “dating rules” might be such as curfews, driving, drinking/drugs and sex. Am I being too direct if I broach those subjects when I meet the girlfriend’s parents after we exchange social niceties?

On sex, I wish my parents and health class had discussed STIs. I have struggled with my sexual health since my 20s because of my ignorance about HPV and other infections. I want to educate my daughter so that she hopefully doesn’t experience the same issues. Are there any recommended safe sex resources that I can share with my daughter? I had the awkward but effective “banana with a condom” demonstration in high school health class- is there a similar one for lesbian sex?

Thank you so much for recommendations and insights. This corner of DCUM seems a lot more inclusive and welcoming.