Waiving child support for primary custody
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Anonymous
| Has anyone waived or accepted a very small amount of child support in exchange for getting primary custody of kids? Is that a bad idea? I make 200K/year working as an attorney and think I have a stable enough job. My priority is to keep my kids for the weekdays so there is no disruption in their school routine. Dad lives in another county. |
Anonymous
| I think this is a bad strategy. Unless he is making considerably less than you and doesn't want primary custody. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s a bad idea because it’s for your kids. If you don’t need it for day to day expenses, then save it for college or grad school. If not needed for that, give it to them for a down payment or wedding or whatever it is. |
Anonymous
| Yes I did this. But the amount waived was small. |
Anonymous
I eventually did, in addition to waiving other monetary judgments from several contempt of court orders. In my case, my ex cared more about money than our child, and our child was suffering academically, emotionally, and socially because he wasn't taking him to school, giving him his medication, or allowing him to participate in organized activities during "his time". He was self-employed, and I let him lie about his income on the form so it would show him not owing child support as part of a global settlement. Our kid didn't suffer from waiving child support - I made enough money to pay for a comfortable house, activities, and a fully funded 529 plan. It set me back financially to be 100% responsible for everything related to our kid, but it was worth it. You have to approach it with your child's needs first, based on your unique circumstances. |
Anonymous
| How exactly does he expect custody to work if he lives in another country? |
Anonymous
That was my first thought, then I reread that it says county, not country. |
Anonymous
What judge would give custody where children need to leave the country instead of going to school? That doesn't even sound remotely likely. So don't waive support and see what happens. |
Anonymous
| different county - he lives in Vienna (Fairfax county) and I'm in Arlington. Kids attend Arlington schools. Morning/afternoon commute would be an issue for him so I'd hope he would agree to them staying with me in Arlington during the week - that is our current arrangement post-separation. Custody hearing is in Feb. |
Anonymous
I'm pp and just posted - I misread that too! Either way, in amendment of my post, what judge would grant custody where the child has to leave the county* instead of going to school? Is he going to be driving them into school each day? |
Anonymous
If it's a less than 30-minute drive, they would probably still give 50/50. If it's over an hour, they probably wouldn't. Anything in between is impossible to predict. |
Anonymous
That's a good start. Family law judges favor the status quo. |
Anonymous
OP, how long would the commute be? If he's physically not able to get them to school, he is not a fit parent for 50/50. |
Anonymous
Ok so give him primary custody and let them spend weekdays with him. Oh wait that’s not what this is really about, is it? |
Anonymous
|
Do you have a good reason to suspect your ex would be a particularly bad parent? Unsafe, domestic abuse, drugs/alcohol? If so, this feels like a really smart strategy.
Otherwise, this feels like a double disservice to the kids. Kids need two parents. Figure out the logistics and make 50/50 work, and use the money to make their life better. Don't give up the money and remove a parent from their lives because YOU want custody. It's not about you. --Child of 50/50 custody who is so grateful. |