17yo DD is an “influencer”

[Anonymous]

My DD is a college freshman. She was born in NY and started kindergarten at 4. When she was in elementary school we moved to a different state with a much earlier deadline which is why she graduated high school at 17 and will not turn 18 for several more weeks. I am very against social media- I am not on it myself and we did not allow DD on it until she was 16. Today a friend asked me if I knew about DD’s social media and sent me a link to her Instagram and TikTok accounts. She has enough followers to qualify for a LTK account. I am very disappointed. The majority of the posts are “get ready with me” videos, shopping hauls, or showing what she is wearing. I don’t like seeing her spending so much money and being so commercialistic. One video was her in her corset Halloween costume, which I am angry about because she is still underage and if she were a senior in high school living under my roof, I would never let her go out like that. She was an academic high achiever in high school who is attending a competitive school. I believe should be spending her energy in more meaningful pursuits. I don’t know what to do- telling her to delete it would hurt our relationship, which is very strong. I just don’t like the idea that I raised an “influencer.”

[Anonymous]

Whose money is it? If it’s yours, you know what to do.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to add that the Instagram account we allowed her to create at 16 is still private. My husband follows her on that account. The “influencer” accounts are newer, I scrolled back and the first post was around the time of her graduation this spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whose money is it? If it’s yours, you know what to do.

We don’t give her a lot of spending money but she has plenty of savings from Christmas, birthdays, her summer job, and grad gifts.

[Anonymous]

I went to college at 17. She is adult now. I understand why this makes you uncomfortable but you no longer choose her Halloween costumes.

Many freshman go through similar phases especially if they are coming from strict households. She may not enjoy the outfits and exposure forever.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. She's an adult. If she's earning commissions from her content, then she's created her own earning stream. You may not like it but you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

I would not hire someone who doesn’t understand social media.

Social media, AI, ChatGPT is a necessary tool for future jobs.

You are living in the stone ages and your attitude and advice to your daughter is toxic.

Step back mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose money is it? If it’s yours, you know what to do.

We don’t give her a lot of spending money but she has plenty of savings from Christmas, birthdays, her summer job, and grad gifts.

Money that is in savings is not to be blown in this manner. I would clamp down on that, at least until she is 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose money is it? If it’s yours, you know what to do.

We don’t give her a lot of spending money but she has plenty of savings from Christmas, birthdays, her summer job, and grad gifts.

Money that is in savings is not to be blown in this manner. I would clamp down on that, at least until she is 18.

How? Isn't it her money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose money is it? If it’s yours, you know what to do.

We don’t give her a lot of spending money but she has plenty of savings from Christmas, birthdays, her summer job, and grad gifts.

Money that is in savings is not to be blown in this manner. I would clamp down on that, at least until she is 18.

Pegging various rights/ responsibilities to a birthday is almost guaranteed to backfire. Either the kid is mature enough, or she isn't, and there is no magic to the 6,570th day after a person's birth that will make them mature.

Parent the child, not the calendar.

[Anonymous]

I would hate this but with weeks away until she turns 18 there's no fighting it. At least it's nothing illegal or sexual. At this point you transition to discussing with her how she does it safely and intelligently. Being careful about the details she posts about her routine so people don't know exactly how to find her. Investing the money she makes into a Roth and paying income taxes and writing off expenses. That kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

She's a college freshman. She is old enough and can decide to be an "influencer". Everyone is an influencer nowadays because of how easy it is.

My 19 year old niece has close to 2 million followers on Instagram. It isn't a big deal. And the Halloween costume isn't a problem either. You seem like an overly controlling parent.

[Anonymous]

Is this a real post? You say you are not on socials at all but know that she qualified for a LTK account, which I had too look up.

Anyway, tell her how you feel and don't expect her to change.

At this point, unless she's doing something illegal, I'm not sure where you can change things.

[Anonymous]

She’s successfully making money off social media. How is this a bad thing? I swear there’s no middle ground with the girl moms. Either they’re basically Regina’s mom from Mean Girls, or they expect their teen and college age daughters to dress in Costco and Lands End clearance clothes and never wear makeup or do their hair.

You need to work on reframing this. “My daughter is successful on social media, she is making her own money on her own schedule. She is creative and hard working, and in touch with the trends.”

[Anonymous]

What is an LTK account??