AITA Birthday edition

Anonymous
My birthday is next Wednesday. Kid (13) has sports practice from 6:30 - 8 pm. I told my family I wanted to go to a dive pizza place that I have never gone to - I've lived here 30 years and somehow have missed it (local landmark, not in DC). DH says we can do "better than that" several weeks ago, so I suggest Mexican seafood - another place I like.

He tells me this morning he got a reservation for 8:45 pm Wednesday for my favorite restaurant, which is nicer than both these places. But 8:45 on a school night/work night after sports - 45 mins after practice ends so wouldn't be able to go right from practice - seems not enjoyable to me. Like I am in bed reading most nights at 9:30. Also, he could have gotten it earlier but didn't do it until last night I'm guessing.

I asked him to cancel but felt like I had to dance around his feelings here. AITA? Also, why when I make a simple request is it so hard to listen and execute?

I have brought up in plain words on occasion that I feel unsupported and unappreciated at home. I know he is trying to do something nice here but why not just do the pizza thing since it's my birthday and that's what I asked for? Just drop it right?
Anonymous
Nope.
It’s your birthday! Ask him to please listen to your requests!
Anonymous
845 dinner res on a school night? hell no.

Why can't he just make the plans you asked for (the pizza place)? Let me guess, he likes the other place better and he likes eating late.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:845 dinner res on a school night? hell no.

Why can't he just make the plans you asked for (the pizza place)? Let me guess, he likes the other place better and he likes eating late.


Yes. He doesn't want to go to the pizza place.

Last year was a milestone birthday and we celebrated hard. This year I'm coming off a truly trying year and want to do something easy because everything else in my life feels really hard right now. I think that is probably what I need to say.

But yes, I think at the heart of everything here is he does not want pizza.
Anonymous
Adding he called the restaurant he booked at a "really hard reservation to get" which it is only when you book a week out. LOL

If he had done this 2-3 weeks ago we could have gone there at a normal time, or before the practice.
Anonymous
That’s too late for dinner.
I’d rather go at 4pm before practice or host wait til the weekend
Anonymous
This marriage is TA here and doesn't sound very fun for anyone involved.
Anonymous
“Sweetheart, that sounds so nice, but not on a school night. Can you get a new reservation for the next available weekend? I know it’s a hard reservation to get so we might wait a couple weeks so it’s worth it to me.”

Then keep the pizza dinner.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This marriage is TA here and doesn't sound very fun for anyone involved.


What is TA
Anonymous
lol, if it’s my birthday, I make the reservation and tell dh where and when we’re eating. That’s how I make sure I get what I want.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:lol, if it’s my birthday, I make the reservation and tell dh where and when we’re eating. That’s how I make sure I get what I want.


+1 this is what I do too — and am never disappointed!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:lol, if it’s my birthday, I make the reservation and tell dh where and when we’re eating. That’s how I make sure I get what I want.


+1 this is what I do too — and am never disappointed!


I hear you. I did try to be proscriptive with the pizza place - no reservation required.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:“Sweetheart, that sounds so nice, but not on a school night. Can you get a new reservation for the next available weekend? I know it’s a hard reservation to get so we might wait a couple weeks so it’s worth it to me.”

Then keep the pizza dinner.

I think this is the best way.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:845 dinner res on a school night? hell no.

Why can't he just make the plans you asked for (the pizza place)? Let me guess, he likes the other place better and he likes eating late.


This is dumb. So, even if you go to the pizza place, you will still leave around 8:45, since your kid has practice? Why are you complaining about the time? Would you like to go to dinner at 4? The other option is to make the kid skip practice, but it seems you might get offended if that happens. It seems that you want to complain only.......
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:845 dinner res on a school night? hell no.

Why can't he just make the plans you asked for (the pizza place)? Let me guess, he likes the other place better and he likes eating late.


This is dumb. So, even if you go to the pizza place, you will still leave around 8:45, since your kid has practice? Why are you complaining about the time? Would you like to go to dinner at 4? The other option is to make the kid skip practice, but it seems you might get offended if that happens. It seems that you want to complain only.......


We could go at 5:30 and be done at 6:15 and drop the kid off at 6:30.
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