Unmarried couple looking for financial planner

[Anonymous]

Together for 5 years. No plans to get married soon since SO has a high NW which would cause us to be full pay at colleges whereas my DCs will receive significant financial aid if I remain single.

My SO has a trust fund and no kids. I have kids (teens) and no trust fund and assuming little to no inheritance. We both have good paying jobs that may or may not last until retirement. We need someone to help us plan and make decisions whether we marry or not. My kids’ dad will also help them, but of course no guarantees with everything happening now.

How should we find this type of financial planner? Not a financial advisor - SO already has one for their money and my NW is mostly in my house and retirement fund.

[Anonymous]

If you know you’re going to scam schools, shouldn’t you wait for the financial planner once your kids finish school? Don’t you already have the plan: to marry after college?

[Anonymous]

If you know you’re going to scam schools, shouldn’t you wait for the financial planner once your kids finish school? Don’t you already have the plan: to marry after college?

How is this a scam? The kids have a mother and a father and their income should be considered for college financial assistance. Unless her SO has adopted the children I see no reason he should be paying for the children's education. Why would this be a scam?

[Anonymous]

^ Plus they might never get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you know you’re going to scam schools, shouldn’t you wait for the financial planner once your kids finish school? Don’t you already have the plan: to marry after college?

How is this a scam? The kids have a mother and a father and their income should be considered for college financial assistance. Unless her SO has adopted the children I see no reason he should be paying for the children's education. Why would this be a scam?

+1. Why should her SO's trust be considered for her children when they are not his?

[Cryptwhale]

Anonymous wrote:Together for 5 years. No plans to get married soon since SO has a high NW which would cause us to be full pay at colleges whereas my DCs will receive significant financial aid if I remain single.

My SO has a trust fund and no kids. I have kids (teens) and no trust fund and assuming little to no inheritance. We both have good paying jobs that may or may not last until retirement. We need someone to help us plan and make decisions whether we marry or not. My kids’ dad will also help them, but of course no guarantees with everything happening now.

How should we find this type of financial planner? Not a financial advisor - SO already has one for their money and my NW is mostly in my house and retirement fund.

That’s a smart and realistic way to look at things. It’s not easy balancing family, future plans, and finances. You might also consider adding a bit of crypto into the mix — it’s helped me create some flexibility outside the traditional system while planning long-term. Just something worth exploring alongside a good financial planner.

[Anonymous]

Cryptwhale wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Together for 5 years. No plans to get married soon since SO has a high NW which would cause us to be full pay at colleges whereas my DCs will receive significant financial aid if I remain single.

My SO has a trust fund and no kids. I have kids (teens) and no trust fund and assuming little to no inheritance. We both have good paying jobs that may or may not last until retirement. We need someone to help us plan and make decisions whether we marry or not. My kids’ dad will also help them, but of course no guarantees with everything happening now.

How should we find this type of financial planner? Not a financial advisor - SO already has one for their money and my NW is mostly in my house and retirement fund.

That’s a smart and realistic way to look at things. It’s not easy balancing family, future plans, and finances. You might also consider adding a bit of crypto into the mix — it’s helped me create some flexibility outside the traditional system while planning long-term. Just something worth exploring alongside a good financial planner.

Omg. Stop.

[Anonymous]

If you're not married or getting married anytime soon, I don't think you need to see a financial planner together, and I don't think you should assume any financial help from your SO when you are planning for yourself. Anything he does provide is gravy.

[Anonymous]

You should get your own financial planner and your own lawyer to advise on securing your own retirement assuming that your SO doesn’t share anything with you or makes you sign a prenup. You don’t really have anything joint to plan since you have no joint financial life and don’t appear to plan to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're not married or getting married anytime soon, I don't think you need to see a financial planner together, and I don't think you should assume any financial help from your SO when you are planning for yourself. Anything he does provide is gravy.

+1. OTOH you also need to make sure that you do not end up common law married (a possibility in DC) and losing your 401k while you have no access to his trust if you break up.

You also need to think about whether the division of household expenses is fair to you. Do you jointly own any property? or are you living in his house and contributing to the upkeep but not getting any equity? And if you buy property jointly make sure you don’t pay more than you can afford for your half. Your half of the cost shouldn’t be more than you would pay if he didn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

You dont need a financial advisor but the poor guy you’re hoping to fleece might.

[Anonymous]

If you're both committed to this relationship, you two need wills, powers of attorneys and cohabitation agreements, with language inserted about paying for the education of kids of the cohabitees. So you need a lawyer, not a financial advisor.

[Anonymous]

^ also health proxy.

[Anonymous]

What? Why would you see a financial planner with a boyfriend who you have no immediate plans to marry?

It’s extremely stupid for you to view yourself as a family unit and make shared financial decisions with a no commitment relationship. Wake up.

It’s appropriate once you’ve engaged and / or working out a pre-nup.

[Anonymous]

Do you also need a cook? Finances is something you do on your own and then pass the knowledge to your kids.
There's so much free information out there.
You also guide the kids as they become adults.