Tween guest wasted all the food we bought him. Would you be offended by his mom's pretentious remark?

[Anonymous]

Extracurricular for my 11 year old son and we let his classmate ride with us. Sweet boy. We stopped for food twice and the boy seemed interested in both places: McDonald's and Panera. We ordered it exactly as he asked. After the kids got out of the truck we realized the guest was smashing up all of his food into a ball in the bag to conceal the fact that he didn't really eat any of it. He seemed to take one bite and then just drank the soda.

After lightheartedly explaining this to his mother just so his parents knew we did try to feed their son, she explained it away by saying they don't do McDonald's, they're more of a Shake Shake family. I don't know if she was trying to be sarcastic or actually talking down to me? Do hungry boys this age really have such rigid fast food opinions?

[Anonymous]

My 10 yr old eats like a bird. He would probably say he wants it then eat two bites. Because that's all he ever eats. We take his food home with us but one a road trip that isn't really practical. He probably just wasn't hungry.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine anyone saying "they're more of a Shake Shack family" with any level of pretension, SS is disgusting. I think the lady was trying to be funny maybe and it fell sort of flat with you.

[Anonymous]

He may have deipnophobia, be kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine anyone saying "they're more of a Shake Shack family" with any level of pretension, SS is disgusting. I think the lady was trying to be funny maybe and it fell sort of flat with you.

+1

She was probably embarrassed about her son’s behavior, too.

[Anonymous]

He was trying to conceal because the one bite didn’t work out. You were rude to point it out.

[Anonymous]

She was taken aback. Next time, discuss food plans in advance, or at least text with the mom or dad before announcing plans to kids. That would give her a chance to say, “Please go ahead and get Billy a drink and small fries, but tell him I have dinner for him at home. Can I Venmo you?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extracurricular for my 11 year old son and we let his classmate ride with us. Sweet boy. We stopped for food twice and the boy seemed interested in both places: McDonald's and Panera. We ordered it exactly as he asked. After the kids got out of the truck we realized the guest was smashing up all of his food into a ball in the bag to conceal the fact that he didn't really eat any of it. He seemed to take one bite and then just drank the soda.

After lightheartedly explaining this to his mother just so his parents knew we did try to feed their son, she explained it away by saying they don't do McDonald's, they're more of a Shake Shake family. I don't know if she was trying to be sarcastic or actually talking down to me? Do hungry boys this age really have such rigid fast food opinions?

Mine did at that age for sure. I’ve spent a decade trying to get protein in that kid, it’s a challenge. Sigh

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's wise to be offended by her comment, if you don't want her to be offended by your comment.

Why bother telling her? It sounds like you wanted to pick a fight.

[Anonymous]

I find your attitude so offensive, OP.

Maybe he wasn't hungry. Maybe the food wasn't great. Maybe he felt off that day (maybe he gets carsick or something). But regardless, he know how it was going to come across and made a social effort to hide the food you had bought, so you wouldn't be surprised, offended or disappointed.

And yet here you are, being all three. Don't. He's a child. His mother made a totally innocuous remark that you, operating on a hair-trigger, chose to take the wrong way.

Just stop.

[Anonymous]

"Wasted". This tells me a lot about you right off the bat. Do not judge your guests. You provide the food, they choose whether to eat or not. End of story. For younger kids, yes, you tell the parents what happened so they are alerted to the possibility that their child might be coming down with something, or that their child hasn't eaten much and might be hangry later. But only in a spirit of doing right by the kid, not in an accusatory "he wasted my money and the food" sort of way.

[Anonymous]

He was probably too shy to tell you he doens't like McDonalds and thought it was more polite to just say yes. My kid once hid frozen chicken nuggets under a place mat at a friends house. They felt bad telling the mom they didn't like those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extracurricular for my 11 year old son and we let his classmate ride with us. Sweet boy. We stopped for food twice and the boy seemed interested in both places: McDonald's and Panera. We ordered it exactly as he asked. After the kids got out of the truck we realized the guest was smashing up all of his food into a ball in the bag to conceal the fact that he didn't really eat any of it. He seemed to take one bite and then just drank the soda.

After lightheartedly explaining this to his mother just so his parents knew we did try to feed their son, she explained it away by saying they don't do McDonald's, they're more of a Shake Shake family. I don't know if she was trying to be sarcastic or actually talking down to me? Do hungry boys this age really have such rigid fast food opinions?

I would not have gotten an 11 year old soda. But, after he did it the first time, I would have talked to him about it and asked where he'd eat. Next time if he rides with you parents need to pack food. We don't eat at a lot of fast food but my son would decline food vs. doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your attitude so offensive, OP.

Maybe he wasn't hungry. Maybe the food wasn't great. Maybe he felt off that day (maybe he gets carsick or something). But regardless, he know how it was going to come across and made a social effort to hide the food you had bought, so you wouldn't be surprised, offended or disappointed.

And yet here you are, being all three. Don't. He's a child. His mother made a totally innocuous remark that you, operating on a hair-trigger, chose to take the wrong way.

Just stop.

+1 Why assume malice here OP? My kid doesn’t much like either Panera or McDs either but has been taught to go along with whatever the host plans are and not complain. Ideally the kid would have told you, “I wouldn’t be interested to eat XYZ” before you wasted money on it, but kids aren’t perfect communicators. Give him a little grace and the mom too, who seems from your description like she felt bad and was trying to make a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find your attitude so offensive, OP.

Maybe he wasn't hungry. Maybe the food wasn't great. Maybe he felt off that day (maybe he gets carsick or something). But regardless, he know how it was going to come across and made a social effort to hide the food you had bought, so you wouldn't be surprised, offended or disappointed.

And yet here you are, being all three. Don't. He's a child. His mother made a totally innocuous remark that you, operating on a hair-trigger, chose to take the wrong way.

Just stop.

Twice?
You should teach your kids to be better guests than that.
I wouldn’t be upset but I also wouldn’t be purchasing this kid any more food.