When someone tells you they are not available ever

[Anonymous]

That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking only for weekends?

Maybe believable for weekends if she leaves town for breaks and holidays.

[Anonymous]

I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

[Anonymous]

Make plans without them. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

So you accept that you won’t have friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

So you accept that you won’t have friends.

Not PP. But this seems so simple. It’s difficult to stay out of the drama in friend groups these days. Women can be so petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

One, there are not that many weeks left in 2025. Two, you are cornering her.

[Anonymous]

I would take them at their word but also not take it personally. They have prioritized things other than getting together with you. It is what it is.

This is a major reason we have worked hard to cultivate and maintain a roster of family friends with kids. So on any given weekend, we can reach out to 2 or 3 and usually at least one will be up for a hang out, playdate, or group outing. And most of our friends have also cultivated other friends, so if we ever can't make an invite, it's okay and nothing hinges on our presence. So I'm never offended when people say they can't make it, and I also never feel guilty when we can't make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

One, there are not that many weeks left in 2025. Two, you are cornering her.

Oh come on, this woman is being “cornered” because someone asked her availability in a group chat to get together before the end of the year?

OP just get together without her then. She can initiate something, or chime in next round, in 2026. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

One, there are not that many weeks left in 2025. Two, you are cornering her.

Oh come on, this woman is being “cornered” because someone asked her availability in a group chat to get together before the end of the year?

OP just get together without her then. She can initiate something, or chime in next round, in 2026. Not a big deal.

Yes, when you demand someone offer a date, that is cornering them.

[Anonymous]

Just say “okay thanks!” and move on. People can’t do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

No not at all. Just keep asking until she says yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

One, there are not that many weeks left in 2025. Two, you are cornering her.

Oh come on, this woman is being “cornered” because someone asked her availability in a group chat to get together before the end of the year?

OP just get together without her then. She can initiate something, or chime in next round, in 2026. Not a big deal.

Yes, when you demand someone offer a date, that is cornering them.

DP, but: no it is not. It's an attempt to be inclusive. If others keep offering dates and she keeps saying she can't make it, then it makes sense to figure out what she CAN make and plan around that. If she doesn't want that, she can just say "please don't plan around us, if we can't make it because of our packed schedule, so be it."

[Anonymous]

I believe that people make time for what is important to them. I would take this to mean she's not interested in maintaining the friendship, and that's OK. Sometimes, people have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

She is either uninterested or too busy or she has mental health challenges.