Helpful Mother of the Bride books
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Anonymous
| My daughter recently got engaged. We have only been to a couple of weddings in the past ten years. It seems like many things have changed as far as planning. Can anyone recommend a book that might catch me up on wedding protocol? I would like to help her out and want to be aware of the way things are done now, there seems to be many more choices. |
Anonymous
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There is no"protocol"
No Miss Manners on how to do a wedding. The bride and groom set a budget and you go over the budget LOL Seriously congrats. Try and remember to enjoy the day and not get bogged down in the details. My mother would say the brides parents pay for the wedding the grooms pay for the band, alcohol and rehersal dinner. I haven't seen this happen in years. My mother would also say there has to be a brunch the next morning nope not a given. Many families split finances nowadays. Most important what does the bride and groom want? |
Anonymous
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OP, in all kindness ~ you say you'd like to help her out but does she want you to help her out? That's the biggest change. Young women (many) do not want their mother's involvement. Many couples, including the future SIL, see themselves having a big role in the planning. Equal to their future wife.
This is apart from whether you pay for the event or not, or pay some. |
Anonymous
| The way things are done now is you follow her lead. Don't be controlling, which is what will happen if you read a book that tells you what to do. |
Anonymous
| What on Earth do you need a book for? |
Anonymous
| Friend just got told she has to wear moss green to her child’s wedding. They are telling all the guests what colors to wear. It seems to be a trend that is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
My sister's biggest involvement with my niece's wedding plans was telling her that if she intended on following through with her color themed wedding for guests, she better be sending the guests gift cards with their wedding invitations so they could buy outfits. |
Anonymous
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Yeah agree with every single post above.
No books Ma’am Follow your adult child’s lead.. Don’t overstep - that will absolutely get ya’ talked about and ignored. Also remember it’s not your day/event. |
Anonymous
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The protocol is to provide help/opinions/advice when, and only when, asked.
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Anonymous
| Most important job you and groom's mom have is to be thoughtful and supportive so its a fun process and a happy day, not stressful and sad because of logistics of the event and pressure of everyone's expectations. |
Anonymous
My coworker just went to a vampire-themed wedding. Moss green sounds delightful. |
Anonymous
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Bridal shower is hot topic— apparently there is controversy over who should host the event. Proceed with caution!
OP, in your shoes what I did was order an e-book from Etsy with checklists of tasks to be accomplished. My DD did most of the work, but it gave me a rough outline of tasks to be completed. Similar to: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1095567590/mother-of-the-bride-planner-18-month?gpla=1&gao=1& Most of all, congratulations!!!! |
Anonymous
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Dear Lord, OP. Please don't fall for the "protocol". There is none. There is no need for a rehearsal dinner, bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette party, a formal wedding party, Maid of Honor or whatever status, groom seeing the dress before the wedding, something blue... NONE OF IT is important!!! Throw all the wedding books and bridal mags out of your life, and tell your daughter that she can have a custom event, and pick and choose whatever she wants to retain from tradition, and/or go with something entirely different and quirky.
All that matters is that any expectations or requests are clearly communicated to all, so people are not startled; that guests are not coerced into weird or overly expensive situations; and most of all, that the venue is comfortable, with plenty of *quality* food and drink! |
Anonymous
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What's helpful is making sure that your child and their affianced are aware that all this wedding stuff is a racket designed to suck the most money out of families as possible.
They don't need the whole shebang. What is their vision for their wedding? What do they most want? They can make it happen, even on a small budget, if they sacrifice some other stuff they thought might be necessary but is actually not. |
Anonymous
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Start to memorize that CC number of yours. She will be asking. |