Learned Dad voted for Trump

[Anonymous]

I live in DC and my parents live in Texas where I grew up. I've always known we didn't see eye to eye politically and we generally don't discuss politics to stay out of the fray. I knew my dad didn't vote for Hillary or Trump in 2016 and haven't really asked him his votes since. But I just learned he voted for Trump in 2024 and is standing by the vote. I am having a VERY hard time. Help me, DCUM. Do I just try and forget? Never discuss Trump or my job (I'm a furloughed fed) ever again? I don't want to lose my dad, but I just can't cope.

[Anonymous]

So he's never said anything that would have made you thought he voted for him?

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I mean par for the course here in Texas. My kid voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

First you need to decide whether or not to verify that information. You cannot condemn if you're not entirely sure. You can choose to wait a bit and sit with your feelings until you feel emotionally ready to confirm.

Second, if it's true, I would advise having a talk with him. He's never going to change his mind if he's not confronted with victims of who he voted for. But you need to be in an emotionally stable frame of mind to do this, otherwise it won't go well.

I advise you to write out your facts, maybe aided by an online search, to lay out to your father"
1. all the USAID victims who will die from not getting life-saving medication and food,
2. all the patients in the US who will die from having their clinical trials stopped, and all the generations who will suffer from not having life-saving research conducted at NIH and thanks to NIH grants.
3. Layoffs are one of the points, by no means the only points.
4. Immigration cruelty and legal black holes are something to talk about: it's OK to want more control over borders. It's not OK to throw people in detention with no means to call their lawyers and no paper trail for anyone to find them. Some will die in detention, and it will be hard to find them. There is wanton cruelty abuse in the new ICE processes that are antithetical to how modern societies should behave.
5. Tariffs.
6. Bailouts of Argentina.
7. Bailout of farmers.
8. etc...

[Anonymous]

Just don't talk about it and don't think about it.

[Anonymous]

Everyone's dad voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Clarify with him whether he believes that ends justifies means. That is, if he wants immigration "controlled" does he care it the means are lawful or constitutional?
Does he care if people obey their oaths before God to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution...against all enemies foreign and domestic?
Then decide what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone's dad voted for Trump.

Mine didn't. My grandpa didn't.

[Anonymous]

You could be like me and learn that your two daughters in college voted for Trump, against our wishes (and in swing states)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone's dad voted for Trump.

My dad and FIL, who were WWII and Korean War veterans, very emphatically did NOT vote for Trump during his first term (they were gone by his second). They thought he was a disgrace to this country.

[Anonymous]

Forget it. Consider your dad to be misled by his environment and don't bring it up.

If people are not turned off by what they see out of this administration, nothing's going to change that. Certainly not facts.

If asked, you can stick up for yourself and your job.

"I loved my job. I helped people. It was worth it. Throwing so many people out of work willy nilly has hurt home prices and people's retirement nest eggs."

If you feel like that and you want to cry openly, do so.

If your truth and your sorrow don't move your father, refer to my opening advice. It's better you have a dad in your life than not.

I'm still a little mad at my Libertarian brother-in-law for not voting in Clinton vs. Trump. And my dad for voting for Dubya out of economic self-interest rather than what would have been better for America.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t cope, it’s probably better if you don’t discuss politics.

I understand how frustrated you are. I’m a conservative who has voted straight Democratic tickets since Trump and his MAGA cronies turned the Republican party into a cult. It astounds me that my parents who taught me how precious our freedoms are that are enshrined in the Constitution and how dear the price was to obtain and keep them, now follow someone who endangers them.

To whatever extent you can cope, remember that they’re the ones who taught you to love this country. They truly want what is best for the country, but they just disagree with you on what that is. Keep in mind that their opinions are likely based on misinformation and omissions from deliberately misleading news outlets. If you’re up to it, have respectful conversations (remember, in a free country people are allowed to be wrong), and offer them FACTS that they may not have been exposed to. Show them quotes from Trump, but don’t take them out of context. What Trump says is inflammatory enough, you don’t need to twist his words, and doing so will just undercut your position. Show them quotes and commentaries from conservatives like Judge Luttig, Elizabeth Warren, Adam Kinzinger, etc., who oppose Trump instead of giving them the liberal talking points. They may never agree with the liberals on the issues, but you need to convince them that Trump poses a danger beyond the issues, because under a dictator, issues cease to matter. Also, as hard as it may be for you to distinguish the difference, Trump is NOT a conservative. Despite the fact that he has coopted the label, he actually stands opposed to most of their values.

This is where I’d start a dialogue, if you’re up to it (Trump talks about terminating parts of the Constitution to prevent election fraud, when he’s made it clear that he considers any election he doesn’t win as fraudulent. If your parents actually believe the 2020. election was stolen, you probably need to start with the many Republicans, including Trump appointees, who publicly stated it was a fair election that Trump legitimately lost):
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/politics/trump-rebuked-for-call-to-terminate-constitution-over-2020-election-results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t cope, it’s probably better if you don’t discuss politics.

I understand how frustrated you are. I’m a conservative who has voted straight Democratic tickets since Trump and his MAGA cronies turned the Republican party into a cult. It astounds me that my parents who taught me how precious our freedoms are that are enshrined in the Constitution and how dear the price was to obtain and keep them, now follow someone who endangers them.

To whatever extent you can cope, remember that they’re the ones who taught you to love this country. They truly want what is best for the country, but they just disagree with you on what that is. Keep in mind that their opinions are likely based on misinformation and omissions from deliberately misleading news outlets. If you’re up to it, have respectful conversations (remember, in a free country people are allowed to be wrong), and offer them FACTS that they may not have been exposed to. Show them quotes from Trump, but don’t take them out of context. What Trump says is inflammatory enough, you don’t need to twist his words, and doing so will just undercut your position. Show them quotes and commentaries from conservatives like Judge Luttig, Elizabeth Warren, Adam Kinzinger, etc., who oppose Trump instead of giving them the liberal talking points. They may never agree with the liberals on the issues, but you need to convince them that Trump poses a danger beyond the issues, because under a dictator, issues cease to matter. Also, as hard as it may be for you to distinguish the difference, Trump is NOT a conservative. Despite the fact that he has coopted the label, he actually stands opposed to most of their values.

This is where I’d start a dialogue, if you’re up to it (Trump talks about terminating parts of the Constitution to prevent election fraud, when he’s made it clear that he considers any election he doesn’t win as fraudulent. If your parents actually believe the 2020. election was stolen, you probably need to start with the many Republicans, including Trump appointees, who publicly stated it was a fair election that Trump legitimately lost):
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/politics/trump-rebuked-for-call-to-terminate-constitution-over-2020-election-results

This sounds so reasonable and sensible. However, I think people who support Trump support him because they like what he does. I know that Trump supporters always cite some disinformation, as why they support Trump and the democrats are so evil, and Fox News feeds a steady diet of lies. However, Trump is so clear and straightforward in what he says about undermining 1st amendment rights, attacking those who disagree with him, trying to undermine social security, Medicare, and Medicaid, and kissing up to dictators. I think Trump voters know exactly what they voted for and they like it. Trump supporters just don’t really care that much if we live in a democracy or if first amendment rights are supported. Thats just not important to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't talk about it and don't think about it.

Not most of the college educated dads.

Mine didn’t nor did most of his friends.