ED at age 30?

[Anonymous]

I’m dating a man who is 30 and has ED. He can get it up, but needs to “stick it in” immediately or it’s gone.

He’s asked me to work with him on this, but a lifetime of sex with no foreplay, just shoving it in, sounds horrible to me.

I’ve asked him about seeing a doctor, therapist, etc and he doesn’t think it will help.

Any men have this issue? Were you able to fix it?

[Anonymous]

He should read She Comes First.

Also, I'd guess p-rn addiction / death grip issues. Proceed with caution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should read She Comes First.

Also, I'd guess p-rn addiction / death grip issues. Proceed with caution.

Yea, my first guess was p0rn. He swears that’s not the problem, I have no idea how to verify if that’s the issue or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a man who is 30 and has ED. He can get it up, but needs to “stick it in” immediately or it’s gone.

He’s asked me to work with him on this, but a lifetime of sex with no foreplay, just shoving it in, sounds horrible to me.

I’ve asked him about seeing a doctor, therapist, etc and he doesn’t think it will help.

Any men have this issue? Were you able to fix it?

OMG can we swap? My DH needs an hour of foreplay (mostly on him) in order to get there.

Like pp, I’d also suspect it stems from too much porn (at least that’s the issue in my case)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a man who is 30 and has ED. He can get it up, but needs to “stick it in” immediately or it’s gone.

He’s asked me to work with him on this, but a lifetime of sex with no foreplay, just shoving it in, sounds horrible to me.

I’ve asked him about seeing a doctor, therapist, etc and he doesn’t think it will help.

Any men have this issue? Were you able to fix it?

OMG can we swap? My DH needs an hour of foreplay (mostly on him) in order to get there.

Like pp, I’d also suspect it stems from too much porn (at least that’s the issue in my case)

OP. UGH. I was really hoping porn wasn’t the issue but sounds like that’s the most common reason for this. That sucks, he’s a great guy otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Diabetes? High blood pressure?

[Anonymous]

If he gets hard with you even if briefly and he wakes up with an erection then he doesn’t have a physical issue. He has psychologically conditioned himself into this dysfunction, that conditioning could be a result of a brief pattern with an eX or a few bouts of performance anxiety in a row.

He told you he needs to get hard and stick it right in or else it’s gone, that means he believes it, if we believe something it pretty much becomes law in our minds and body. It will take some undoing but that’s not your job, he needs to see a sex therapist who can help him undo the wiring. The therapist may suggest some activities or pattern to increase his confidence and short circuit the “get hard and stick it in“ operating system but he can’t come up with this on his own.

[Anonymous]

It’s not p*rn that’s his problem.

His problem is he m*sterbates. Probably does it often.

He must stop.

[Anonymous]

My ex DH was like this when we first got together. Big red flag. It was most likely due to sensory issues due to being on the spectrum (later diagnosed after marriage), pornography use, and a focus on, erm, solo activities that made it difficult for him to perform when with others. The more they swear that pornography is not the problem, the more likely it is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a man who is 30 and has ED. He can get it up, but needs to “stick it in” immediately or it’s gone.

He’s asked me to work with him on this, but a lifetime of sex with no foreplay, just shoving it in, sounds horrible to me.

I’ve asked him about seeing a doctor, therapist, etc and he doesn’t think it will help.

Any men have this issue? Were you able to fix it?

PP with the ex and I will say that it got better briefly when impatiently worked with him but the he quickly reverted to ED and/or terrible self-centered fast-action activity.

Don’t be fooled if it briefly improves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Diabetes? High blood pressure?

It could be porn, but it could also be health or diet related. Changing diet, no self stimulation, and treating any possible health issues could help.
If blood isn’t flowing there, it’s probably not flowing elsewhere as it should.
Overall, it’s a red flag. Dude either has a porn issue or so unhealthy at 30 that you are looking at a life of nurse role.
He did this to himself.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to google it but I'm baffled, how does porn cause ED? How does m-sterbation cause ED? Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a man who is 30 and has ED. He can get it up, but needs to “stick it in” immediately or it’s gone.

He’s asked me to work with him on this, but a lifetime of sex with no foreplay, just shoving it in, sounds horrible to me.

I’ve asked him about seeing a doctor, therapist, etc and he doesn’t think it will help.

Any men have this issue? Were you able to fix it?

OMG can we swap? My DH needs an hour of foreplay (mostly on him) in order to get there.

Like pp, I’d also suspect it stems from too much porn (at least that’s the issue in my case)

OP. UGH. I was really hoping porn wasn’t the issue but sounds like that’s the most common reason for this. That sucks, he’s a great guy otherwise.

Except he really isn’t - porn issue or neglecting health are two bad choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to google it but I'm baffled, how does porn cause ED? How does m-sterbation cause ED? Thanks

https://edclinics.co.uk/advice/porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction-what-it-is-how-to-fix-it/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Diabetes? High blood pressure?

No, he’s in fantastic shape. No health issues.