Picked DH Up From DCA- Boys Weekend

[Anonymous]

And he was drunk. I don't care about that. They had a brunch at the hotel and he had a couple wines on the plane. He used rail to get to the airport, and called me to collect him.No driving.

On the way home, he blurts that two of the six guys there have regular flings with women......... and, in fact, one of them brought back to the hotel a woman he met at the bar after dinner. Her name was Meredith and she spent the night. This wasn't my DH's room, but I have no doubt he's telling the truth. He's just like that. He said the other non-cheating dudes were just like "wow wow wow". Apparently, "Meredith" was just like the wives of men in our big circle. So, like, who the hell was she?

And they went on to fish/golf, out to dinner, etc. Like nothing had happened.

These are late 40s, educated, wealthy, white collar, white dudes in DC.

Just an FYI if your DH was away this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Does this shock you? It’s not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this shock you? It’s not uncommon.

+1. And everyone in the friend group knows who the sus guys are who do this routinely and have since your 20s during the bachelor party days. And everyone low key talks about it when you aren't present. I'm a woman and assume the wives know and don't care.

[Anonymous]

It happens all the time. I used to work for the largest staffing firm in the area. Same gentleman that started the company owns a local NFL team.

The leadership team used to go to Dewey all the time, hook up with way younger girls and…

Most the guys were married.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that there's now at least one poor wife in that circle who got cheated on and everyone knows it except her. To me, if I were you, OP, that would be intolerable.

[Anonymous]

Sure they all indulged. Including your drunk husband.

Ick!

[Anonymous]

It’s sad but it also doesn’t surprise me.

I would be concerned about your DH because your own character can start to resemble those you hang around. I know this first hand — immediately after my divorce, I was surrounded by other men who encouraged me to sleep with as many women as possible. They were all living vicariously through me. This time period in my life was very confusing when I look back on it now. It fueled a lot of unhealthy personal behaviors and I ended up emotionally hurting a lot of women too. While I was ultimately responsible for my own actions, having these men laugh, joke, and externally validate me through talking crudely about what I was doing was definitely part of the problem.

Fast-forward to now — after having an extremely unexpected born-again experience in my early 40s — I now find myself surrounded by true friends, men and women at my church who are virtuous and have strong character. They aren’t perfect — none of us are — but these are the type of people who bring out the best in me. They do the right thing more times than not. They encourage strong character and help hold me accountable when I need that too. It’s a world of difference. I also work closely with with an executive coach who actively encourages me to be a better person and wants me to have strong character instead of like most shrinks who just tell you that whatever feeling or impulse you have should be acted upon.

I would never want to go back to hanging out with the first group now. I look back on it with some true level of horror. I hope that your DH finds a better set of friends who truly respect women, for his own sake.

[Anonymous]

I’d take it as a sign that your DH is a good guy because he certainly wouldn’t have told you if he didn’t find it shocking and was up to no good. I’d also try to limit his time with those idiots.

[Anonymous]

Initials of cheating DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sure they all indulged. Including your drunk husband.

Ick!

Sounds like experience speaking.

[Anonymous]

Congressional dudes?

[Anonymous]

My husband and his friends are not into this. I know and have confidence.

Overlap friends absolutely are, and dh reports on it. It’s pretty easy to know who the guys are. And agree it’s not uncommon but definitely not the norm either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad but it also doesn’t surprise me.

I would be concerned about your DH because your own character can start to resemble those you hang around. I know this first hand — immediately after my divorce, I was surrounded by other men who encouraged me to sleep with as many women as possible. They were all living vicariously through me. This time period in my life was very confusing when I look back on it now. It fueled a lot of unhealthy personal behaviors and I ended up emotionally hurting a lot of women too. While I was ultimately responsible for my own actions, having these men laugh, joke, and externally validate me through talking crudely about what I was doing was definitely part of the problem.

Fast-forward to now — after having an extremely unexpected born-again experience in my early 40s — I now find myself surrounded by true friends, men and women at my church who are virtuous and have strong character. They aren’t perfect — none of us are — but these are the type of people who bring out the best in me. They do the right thing more times than not. They encourage strong character and help hold me accountable when I need that too. It’s a world of difference. I also work closely with with an executive coach who actively encourages me to be a better person and wants me to have strong character instead of like most shrinks who just tell you that whatever feeling or impulse you have should be acted upon.

I would never want to go back to hanging out with the first group now. I look back on it with some true level of horror. I hope that your DH finds a better set of friends who truly respect women, for his own sake.

I mean, guy who is into this scene of cheating and horrible ethics, and then ends up doubled down on religion. That completely tracks. The truly good guys are neither in the cheater nor religious groups. Guys who end up deeply religious have some serious failings from which they need to be saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And he was drunk. I don't care about that. They had a brunch at the hotel and he had a couple wines on the plane. He used rail to get to the airport, and called me to collect him.No driving.

On the way home, he blurts that two of the six guys there have regular flings with women......... and, in fact, one of them brought back to the hotel a woman he met at the bar after dinner. Her name was Meredith and she spent the night. This wasn't my DH's room, but I have no doubt he's telling the truth. He's just like that. He said the other non-cheating dudes were just like "wow wow wow". Apparently, "Meredith" was just like the wives of men in our big circle. So, like, who the hell was she?

And they went on to fish/golf, out to dinner, etc. Like nothing had happened.

These are late 40s, educated, wealthy, white collar, white dudes in DC.

Just an FYI if your DH was away this weekend.

lol or your DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And he was drunk. I don't care about that. They had a brunch at the hotel and he had a couple wines on the plane. He used rail to get to the airport, and called me to collect him.No driving.

On the way home, he blurts that two of the six guys there have regular flings with women......... and, in fact, one of them brought back to the hotel a woman he met at the bar after dinner. Her name was Meredith and she spent the night. This wasn't my DH's room, but I have no doubt he's telling the truth. He's just like that. He said the other non-cheating dudes were just like "wow wow wow". Apparently, "Meredith" was just like the wives of men in our big circle. So, like, who the hell was she?

And they went on to fish/golf, out to dinner, etc. Like nothing had happened.

These are late 40s, educated, wealthy, white collar, white dudes in DC.

Just an FYI if your DH was away this weekend.

lol or your DW.

I'm not following this part: Apparently, "Meredith" was just like the wives of men in our big circle. So, like, who the hell was she?