Seeking Guidance for 2E Child with ADHD, anxiety, and EF challenges
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Anonymous
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Thoughts on how to better support our 8-year-old? We're struggling! Full neuropsych eval confirmed 2E with asynchronous development and "meeting criteria for ADHD", with notable executive functioning challenges. Currently medicated with IEP and weekly outside tutoring. Ended 2nd grade on grade level in class and significantly above grade level on testing. In a typical MCPS classroom, and up until now, has mainly done fine. Has friends, OK grades, but concerns over focus, hence the eval/meds.
The leap to 3rd grade has brought an (anticipated) increase in academic and behavioral expectations. Just three weeks into the school year, I’m already seeing more anxiety and signs that they may be starting to "shut down". Increased pushback on homework, enrichment activities, and at-home assignments (from tutoring and speech). Lots of complaints they don't have any time to "just chill" despite intentional efforts to provide at least 2 hours/day for free time (an hour in the morning, 1-2 hours in the afternoon)...and then big feelings that they don't get enough screen time. Of course, would have more free time if executive functioning challenges didn't make basic tasks take forever! Meltdowns and emotional dysregulation when any parental guidance is offered. Even gentle scaffolding (by us - I think more receptive to teachers/tutors, rather than parents) is perceived as criticism (such as "Hey, can you take another look at question #?"). Little to no independent follow-through when left to manage tasks alone. Attempts to make work “fun” through games or creative approaches become a big joke that they don't take seriously. We’re trying hard to support them at home—reading recommended books, listening to parenting podcasts—but I’m concerned it’s not enough. Admittedly, we need to be more consistent, but how do we do this until we start to get some more traction? Feels like right now we're just scrambling to follow through on it all. We have sought guidance from so many (ped, the psych who completed the eval, OT and ST, tutors), and we don't know where to turn next. Has anyone else gone through similar, and what worked? Therapy, back to OT, change in meds? Signed, At a loss! |
Anonymous
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OP here. Just to clarify—most of these behaviors aren't really showing up at school. From what I understand, he mostly sits, zones out a bit, but generally does what he's supposed to. Issues surface mostly at home.
So...maybe we are the problem!? |
Anonymous
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A third grader doesn’t need to do homework. Just have him read if he will do so happily or read to him.
For my similar kid, we had to go “no screen on school days.” Small amounts led to disregulation, whining for more, etc etc. School takes so much out of these kids that they just can’t handle screens too - especially when that’s the favorite way to relax. |
Anonymous
No, you're not the problem, he's using all his energy to behave at school and he's having restraint collapse at home. The only thing that fixed this for my kid was a small, special needs school.. |
Anonymous
| Give it some time and lots of outdoor time at home. See where you are in a couple of months |
Anonymous
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Get rid of the screens. All of them.
Stop feeding him processed garbage. All of it. Let him play outside barefoot. Everyday. Get rid of fluorescent lights and other environmental toxins. Read some parenting books. You’re welcome. |
Anonymous
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^^this seems extreme but pieces make sense
Before and afterschool outside time. Creative outlets: building, drawing etc. Earlier than you would think bedtime using melatonin if needed |
Anonymous
What part of a good diet, exercise, sunshine, and no addictive screens or environmental toxins is “extreme” to you? |