Dysfunction at remote first company

[Anonymous]

I’ve worked at a remote first company in consulting with a small physical office here in the DC area for almost 5 years, I joined during Covid. Don’t want to share lots of details out of respect for privacy but it’s tech adjacent, ~150 employees worldwide with about 20% of them being in DC. Also a very young team where most people are under 40 and single, I’m early 30s and married with a toddler and another on the way.

This was and sometimes still is a fun place to work and pays market rate but I’m over how our time isn’t used wisely and excessive meetings, plus happy hours that go way late once maybe twice per week that were basically required to attend if we don’t want to get laid off. Clients don’t attend these and it’s basically just going to a dive bar and drinking till late or playing on a kickball league. I totally get this might be fun when you’re 23 but I have a toddler at home and it breaks up your whole week. Were also in calls with a AI bot recording us all day, sometimes for 6-7 hours a day and they require us to have “prep calls” for client calls that are only 15 minutes long. There’s also constant lunch and learns, team bonding calls with 50+ people talking over each other, and excessive performance reviews. Company hasn’t done particularly well the last three years either from a financial standpoint.

Don’t get me wrong this was a great place during the pandemic but I don’t think they realize people have lives outside of work and need their time used effectively. Doesn’t help that many of my peers entire social lives revolve around this company, so there’s a ton of inter office drama to navigate. I will eventually leave but need to get through this second baby first without getting laid off. Any tips on how to survive this?

[Anonymous]

I have a straw for you. Suck it the f up.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. For the happy hours, can’t you use your kid as an excuse to not attend? (e.g. I have to pickup Jane from daycare/get dinner started/take her to bed, etc). And then maybe just pop in, stay for half an hour and head out? Not sure what to tell you about the calls…I would start looking now for an exit regardless of the where your partner is in the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Please leave. I worked a small super hip start up where average age was 25 when I was 58. He had all sorts of fund things all the time. I did it for two years then moved on.

It is not my place to tell my young single co-workers who live near office and many even date each other and best friends work there they no longer can have Pizza Party Wed, Free Bagels Thursday morning, Thirsty Thursday Happy hour, our Annual xmas party, our offsite fun partes cause I am old and boring. I did it and enjoyed it and then moved on

[Anonymous]

That sounds exhausting OP!

(Sorry for the poster above you who apparently is devoid of sympathy)

I don’t have much advice because I would probably have gotten myself fired with being so overstimulated. But if they are a large company, they probably have to follow some legal guidelines. Is there a company policy you can refer to regarding job expectations?

Otherwise maybe if there is someone in management to talk to maybe to come to a compromise. Frame it as you want to make sure you are working at your best for the company and clients. If you feel they are approachable.

Brush up your CV, reach out to contacts, and find something with more balance. They obviously are having struggles - and it might be best to get out of the company before things get worse.

[Anonymous]

Pick some things. Go to the happy hours. Skip others.