How were you introduced to drinking? Do you drink alot?

[Anonymous]

My teens are going to college next year, big ten. They have been exposed to drinking culture but have side stepped it because they are athletes. In college they will no longer be participating in their main sport and I am sure they will drink.

Sounds terrible but I would like to expose them to it with us firsthand versus around other kids/college. I think it’s important to know the effects of drinking by trying drinking at home first in a safe environment.

What is a safe way? Yes, I have had all the safe conversations about the negatives of drinking already. My kids didn’t go to wild parties in high school.

[Anonymous]

Just invite them to have wine with dinner or a beer during the game or during a BBQ.

[Anonymous]

I never offered my kids any full drinks at home. Gave them a few sips of wine over the years. They rarely see us have a drink.

This XKCD cartoon sums up my feelings about beer.

https://xkcd.com/1534/

As my kids got older, I talked (particularly to my older son) about people in my life and people in the news who were harmed or died in alcohol-related incidents. These are sadly common.

*Uncle who was a passenger in a car that crashed because driver was drunk (uncle lived, driver died).

*Graduate of their high school who walked home drunk alone at night across campus. Fell down and died of hypothermia.

*Several incidents in the news where drunk high schoolers and college students fell into bodies of water and drowned.

*Fraternity hazing/overdrinking

We talked about never being afraid to get "in trouble" to keep a friend from harm. I want my kid to be the one who takes a friend to the ER, not the one who thinks "sleeping it off" cures all.

My kids are also not very interested in drinking because we are not inhibited people. Our regular personalities are very similar to our "unwinding"/"relaxed" personalities. So we've discussed a lot of ideas over the years about being your real self and acceptance and not being painfully shy (being quiet and introverted is okay, but feeling bad about that and overcompensating is not).

My older kid is at college now and is definitely exposed to the negative effects of other people's overdrinking now. But I feel he's fairly inoculated about hazardous overdrinking at this point. That was my main objective.

[Anonymous]

PP. Kid is a Big 10 sophomore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just invite them to have wine with dinner or a beer during the game or during a BBQ.

DO NOT DO THIS! SMH.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to them. Sheesh you Americans make a mountain out of a molehill on everything.

[Anonymous]

My opinion: give them the opportunity, in the safety of their home, to learn how fast one goes from slightly tipsy to incapacitated, which of course differs based on size and weight and what you're drinking.

Make sure they understand the consequences for underage drinking at their schools. At some schools, it's serious.

Make absolutely sure they know not to leave a drink unattended, not accept an open container, and to never drink the "punch" at a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just invite them to have wine with dinner or a beer during the game or during a BBQ.

DO NOT DO THIS! SMH.

Americans! (SMH)

[Anonymous]

My parents were big drinkers (you might say alcoholic) and I was introduced to drinking very young, which was a huge error on their behalf, in my opinion.

I am in my late thirties and have a serious drinking problem but which is never QUITE bad enough, I always am able to keep it just within the realm of not entirely destructive and it’s really tiring. I haven’t gone a day without a drink in weeks and am going to white knuckle through today - I am horrendously hungover - and just work on getting through a week without taking any alcohol.

Addiction is an incredible albatross and I don’t wish it on anyone. I would speak seriously with my kids about the dark side of alcohol - mostly, it is a dark side - and encourage them continue to steer clear. You just don’t know if they have the addict gene.

[Anonymous]

I am jewish so grew up with wine on Shabbat being on the table. In our (immediate and extended) family, kids under college-age can taste from an adult's wine glass, and once you're in college you can have your own glass if wanted. In general we were not a big drinking family. In a branch of our family that's about 60 people there are no alcoholics.

As an adult, I never drink. The last time I tasted alcohol was a sip of someone else's Manhattan in 2021. My brother works in the wine industry and socializes a lot more than I do. He never drinks more than two glasses of wine but sometimes does that twice a week, though sometimes goes a few months without drinking at all. Neither of us were athletes.

[Anonymous]

I didn't drink till college. My parents had an occasional glass of wine but barely had it and didn't share it with me. I drank socially in my 20s but now I don't really enjoy it much and it bothers my sleep.

My spouse was introduced from early teens by a parent who was an addict and they struggle with drinking too much and relying on other substances to "relax".

I guess we are two extremes, hopefully there is a way to do this responsibly so they are introduced at a near drinking age to have it with dinner once in a while or for a special occasion but not for bingeing.

[Anonymous]

You are a parent not a friend. You talk to them you don't drink with them.

[Anonymous]

I'm French. My relatives drank wine at every meal except breakfast. Kids were allowed a sip.

I have never binged or gotten drunk in my life. I don't actually drink except a half glass at the Holidays. I have raised my kids the same way. Right now my oldest is studying in France and has gone with friends to wine-tastings and such. He's always the sober driver. My teen does not drink. Some people just aren't interested in alcohol, OP.

The kids who are interested will of course be at risk for all sorts of alcohol-related issues, and need more education on restraint, and consequences of not restraint. But it really depends on the kids you have. If they're intelligent and have natural control over their impulses it will be fine. If you have a very impulsive kid with a taste for alcohol... it's going to be difficult no matter what you do.
Since my kids are 20 and 15, I've seen all kinds of behavior in their circle of friends, and in my friends' kids. The parents have less control over it than they think they have.

[Anonymous]

My mother's alcoholism was my introduction to drinking. I have consumed alcohol maybe 20 times in my life. I swore it off 20 years ago at age 34.

[Anonymous]

Started at DC private school in the 90s when there was just an absolute ton of drinking going on. No idea what to do if you aren't basically a pro by the time you get to college.