How to stay on TOP of DS’s school stuff?
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Anonymous
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Really looking for some very specific tips on how to do this as DS seems to not be improving at all with doing what he actually needs to do for HW. He’s headed into 9th in FCPS.
Last two years we would toggle back and forth between me checking sis for grades / turned in assignments daily for weeks and him staying pretty caught up and then me backing off and him careening off the hill on follow through until I went back to babysitting it daily again for awhile (not sustainable). This summer he took online PE and ended up with a b+ (how is that even POSSIBLE in PE!??). Presumably due to not turning in stuff. I need a system that does not involve me remembering to go into SIS every single day to check both missing assignments (parent view) and assigned work (student view). HOW do I do this??? |
Anonymous
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Maybe a weekly meeting with him where he looks through sis and then reports to you what is done and what isn’t?
By ninth I would be tempted to let him deal with the consequences of his actions (or really would have done it in 7th). But I see the dilemma now that his grades count. |
Anonymous
| Have his password and log in as him in schoology regularly. |
Anonymous
| Some kids take longer than others to wrap their heads around organization. I spent years helping my son work on managing homework, reading rubrics completely, and organizing himself. In my son's case, for at least three years when he was in middle school (his assignments were posted online) I would have him sit with me every other day (he was on a block schedule) for 5 minutes and I would have him check to see what was posted...and then I would have him write it into a paper planner. He did not love this, but by the time high school came around, he was able to do this for himself. He switched to track his assignments on his phone (which I did not love) but it was his choice and he made it work. Advice: make this a quick check in. You do not need to spend 30 minutes at a time to look at what is due. If he has an assignment that will come with a rubric, initially, practice reading it with him to make sure he grasps the little details. Also, please give him a bright colored plastic folder with pockets to keep in his backpack or with him at all times at school. He can put any loose papers or assignments in it and can always have it with him. It does take some time, and he will probably resist a little, but consistency and giving him some ownership of the process will help! |
Anonymous
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Also, read "That Crumpled Paper was Due Last Week".
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/that-crumpled-paper-was-due-last-week-ana-homayoun/1112547871 |
Anonymous
I appreciate where you're coming from. And whenever it craters I tell myself i'm going to have to do this daily again. But in reality it's just not feasible for me to do it constantly. I need some kind of system that doesn't involve me logign into his SIS account every single day of the schoolyear. :/ Just being realistic about what will/won't happen on my end. - OP |
Anonymous
I did try letting consequences apply in MS for the non-HS grade classes. Issue is that he did ok in those (because there was almost zero HW and tests didn't seem to require much studying) and the problems were with his permanent grade courses that required more work. Plus that was part of why i would back off after babysitting for awhile - to let him "ride the bike himself" but then the wheels would fall right back off it again. 
- OP |
Anonymous
Thanks. Ordered this. - OP |
Anonymous
DS is an 8th grader this year. Last year the only classes we commented on when we saw a missing assignment or a grade slip were his HS level classes, math and a language. His MS classes we tracked but said nothing until we saw 3-4 weaker grades. For him, that was an A to a B. Then we stepped in an asked what was happening and reviewed the work he was turning in. The two instances were in classes that he can easily earn an A but he is less interested in, the B's were lack of effort. A week or two of Mom and Dad reviewing work and quizzing to ensure that he understood the concepts and how to connect them was enough to reinforce making your best effort and his grade returned to an A. |
Anonymous
My oldest is the same age, so I don't have a ton of perspective. But it seems like you either have to take the reins and really scaffold how he can stay organized himself (or hire an executive function coach/tutor,) or let him be where he is to not always do great. I know as a kid, my parents would never have gotten involved no matter how poorly I did- so my success or failure was my own. I think that has value (and creates its own motivation). We are definitely a different generation now, but either you have to stick with helping him or... FWIW I've heard great things about tutors for just organization. Short of that, I think scheduling a regular time to meet and discuss would be better than you trying to stay on top of it yourself. |
Anonymous
Until he matures and sees the value in it himself there is little to be done (besides hiring a tutor to do it for you). |
Anonymous
I can relate. I'm exactly there with my daughter. Does fine when I'm helicoptering; falls off the cliff when I'm not. Sigh. I did two things (not saying they solved the problem for me, but you should do it to help facilitate both you and your kid's ability to stay on top of it): I had their Schoology calendar link directly to the iCal or Google Calendar and set up daily messages on what was due today. That way, I didn't have to log on everyday and could just ask "did you complete...". I dont know if this is still available for high school classes but it was/is available for middle school classes. |
Anonymous
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1. Consider whether he might have ADHD and whether it warrants an evaluation and meds.
2. Someone (you or someone you hire) needs to remind him to check until he can learn to remember. At first, you sit with him while he checks. Use any and all pressure you think best fits your kid. If yelling gives you results, yell. If he's the type of escalate a fight, use other means. This is urgent and he needs to learn fast because every grade counts for college. 3. What kind of planner does he use? My severely ADHD kid became very good at using a paper planner, and still has one in college. My mildly ADHD kid refuses to use any planner, and has forgotten some assignments, but her ADHD is mild and thus far consequences haven't been too bad. Here is one specifically for kids who struggle with organization: https://www.amazon.com/Order-Out-Chaos-2025-2026-2025-June/dp/B0F6D75B78/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1TB7A0VGNDUXE&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.eDZO0fPzFC0GYyMc45y09URdRh_QTrMZznqfJNoSUMHCt1PYLA-NpNqwWM2NiMaxM8nUz8FoH9nicznEKlK3m2KX--YPEAbJb3Cy-zk1sQsmXnFmezkw554sIPVLOD_dlJVEUYhGfy2MTKmkEkV6hgDptaoBOKt7Gkr4fNM4TL_Vb3k0IFTBMi45_0ZXLjReJ9Va0o0ImIB_hljXt5yuwI439DR-xOW1W38eh0gfZzlcmSnQ8pf8jwf_XGq9kwrA8759bbm7K-cFdAhcUOgPj8ykkiMjsslp8RJBd5laem0.drK2d09ie-OEvExCk2_nOQNp0E712PUZxWbqGkp90tA&dib_tag=se&keywords=ADHD%2Bplanner%2Bschool&qid=1755183024&sprefix=adhd%2Bplanner%2Bschool%2Caps%2C92&sr=8-3&th=1 |