DH choked me

[Anonymous]

DH likes to choke in the bedroom. It’s not my thing, but I’ve indulged him. Last night he choked me too hard and I said to stop and he didn’t stop right away.

This made me terrified and I feel really uncomfortable. I told him right after the fact that this was not ok and he apologized. But I still do not feel comfortable around him. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/strangulation-is-the-highest-predictor-of-murder

Strangulation in any context is the highest predictor of murder.

[Anonymous]

This is not ok. Your options are to withhold sex until you feel comfortable again, insist that he go through a program for sexual assault perpetrators or private one on one counseling, report him to the police for assault, or divorce him.

I'm sorry, OP. I wouldn't 'indulge him' any more.

[Anonymous]

This is not ok. Your post gave me the chills. You need to leave. I’m very sorry.

[Anonymous]

Your husband took it too far.
Absolutely no more choking and he needs help - therapy ASAP

[Anonymous]

Take some classes in Brazilian ju jitsu. Learn a few chokeholds and submission techniques. The next time he tries it and won't stop, break a few bones

[Anonymous]

You need to leave. This is serious and can leave to major healt complications. I’m so sorry OP

[Anonymous]

Any other issues outside the bedroom?

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. That is terrifying.

[Anonymous]

As a child, I had to intervene when my dad tried to choke my mother to death. Please spare your children that.

[Anonymous]

Not immediately stopping any form of sex when consent is withdrawn is a major issue.

You are not overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/strangulation-is-the-highest-predictor-of-murder

Strangulation in any context is the highest predictor of murder.

Let's take a step back here. There is strangulation in the context of a fight and there is choking during sex. Those are two completely different things.

I think the choking epidemic during sex has spiraled out of control. I think the simple solution here is to take choking off the table completely. He took it too far, and he lost his "privilege".

[Anonymous]

Divorce. He's going to kill you.

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t be married to someone who gets off on choking women.

[Anonymous]

Get out and file a police report.