Question Re: Bereavement Leave

[Anonymous]

My best friend recently died due to Stage IV brain cancer.
I grew up in foster care and had/have no immediate family so this best friend was my entire family.
She died last week and I am grieving heavily right now.
I work in a community summer day camp with young children, ages 4-6.
Since it will be so difficult working around kids next week while I am grieving I asked my boss if I could take next week off.
I live in CA where I am entitled to 5 days off unpaid.
However this law only applies to immediate family, though it is up to an employer’s discretion on whether to include close friends.

My employer said they would make an exception due to my circumstances for this friend.
However they said that this law only applies to full-time employees and I am only 30 hrs a week.

Does anyone here know if bereavement laws only apply to fulltime employees?
Tia.

[Anonymous]

OP Here, Sorry I accidentally hit the Send button too soon.

My employer agreed to include my best friend as family yet told me that since the bereavement law only applies to full/time employees that they would allow me next week off unpaid (which is acceptable for me) yet if I didn’t show up the following week then my position with the company may not continue after the 28th of this month.

I hope in a week I will be emotionally able to return to work or I may find myself unemployed.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry for your loss.

Can you let the boss know that if you dont get leave, you'll show up to work while grieving the only family you've ever had, with predictable results for your interactions with kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, Sorry I accidentally hit the Send button too soon.

My employer agreed to include my best friend as family yet told me that since the bereavement law only applies to full/time employees that they would allow me next week off unpaid (which is acceptable for me) yet if I didn’t show up the following week then my position with the company may not continue after the 28th of this month.

I hope in a week I will be emotionally able to return to work or I may find myself unemployed.

I'm the PP who replied already - so he is giving you the week? But not two weeks, which you never thought you were going to get anyway.

Sorry, this sounds like a win.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am grieving a similar loss with similar circumstances. I think you should take the 5 days and see how you feel a week from now.

[Anonymous]

Take the time no matter what, OP. When a very close friend died 19 months ago, I decided to tough it out. I was physically present, but that’s all.

[Anonymous]

The point of bereavement leave is to organize the funeral and take care of getting the death certificate and such. It’s not meant to be all the time a person needs to grieve a deceased loved one.

So take your very generous week you were given, and then get back to work and let work distract you from your grief for a few hours each day.

[Anonymous]

I understand your circumstances. I didn’t grow up in foster care but I lived with a different family. Twenty years ago the mom died and two weeks ago a daughter died. I got no bereavement leave either time. And this time I’m in a new job with no leave yet so I couldn’t even go to services.

I’m sorry for your loss. But bereavement leave is not a legal right in most states - not sure if any require it. It is policy that varies by employer. It’s a tough
Loss that not many understand but if you need your job you have to show up and do it.

[Anonymous]

The law allows for 5 days, which he is giving you next week. What does the second week have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The law allows for 5 days, which he is giving you next week. What does the second week have to do with anything?

Yuck.

No need to answer this “person”. Law or no this is way too literal of a question.

I’m so sorry for your loss, op. Give yourself space to rest this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point of bereavement leave is to organize the funeral and take care of getting the death certificate and such. It’s not meant to be all the time a person needs to grieve a deceased loved one.

So take your very generous week you were given, and then get back to work and let work distract you from your grief for a few hours each day.

+1
You also have the rest of the day to process everything, and honestly, I've found being forced into regular life and interactions, especially happy ones with kids, is a lot healthier and happier than being at home, alone with your thoughts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The law allows for 5 days, which he is giving you next week. What does the second week have to do with anything?

Yuck.

No need to answer this “person”. Law or no this is way too literal of a question.

I’m so sorry for your loss, op. Give yourself space to rest this week.

Her question is literally about whether or not the law applies to her. Her boss is following the law and giving her 5 days off. She can certainly take the second week off, but I'm trying to figure out how she's trying to say that week is the law and not the time off her boss is actually giving her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The law allows for 5 days, which he is giving you next week. What does the second week have to do with anything?

Yuck.

No need to answer this “person”. Law or no this is way too literal of a question.

I’m so sorry for your loss, op. Give yourself space to rest this week.

Her question is literally about whether or not the law applies to her. Her boss is following the law and giving her 5 days off. She can certainly take the second week off, but I'm trying to figure out how she's trying to say that week is the law and not the time off her boss is actually giving her.

You don’t need to figure it out. Just be compassionate.

She would like the week to recover. It’s not going to be supported by her boss. Which stinks. But no need to spell it out.

She’s gotten that answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, Sorry I accidentally hit the Send button too soon.

My employer agreed to include my best friend as family yet told me that since the bereavement law only applies to full/time employees that they would allow me next week off unpaid (which is acceptable for me) yet if I didn’t show up the following week then my position with the company may not continue after the 28th of this month.

I hope in a week I will be emotionally able to return to work or I may find myself unemployed.

Your boss is being VERY generous. Take the week to pull yourself together. I am assuming you are not independently wealthy and just doing this job because you love children and need something to fill your days, but because you have bills and need to work?

[Anonymous]

OP Here:
Sorry my focus and concentration is a little off right now.

I am hoping that having next week off will be enough time for me to grieve then get back to work.
I guess I am just having a rougher time now than I expected.
I have moments where I feel like I can handle the loss and will toss in a load of laundry, then a half hour later the fact that she is gone hits me like a ton of bricks in my face and I run to my bed and bury myself under the covers.
I am afraid to return to work after next week if I still am like this because I have to be active, engaging and happy during my job.

In my state, our Governor mandated five days of bereavement which I know I am truly blessed to receive.