Camp fail - give feedback or not?

[Anonymous]

ASD DD loved camp until counselor got overwhelmed and decided on a group punishment.

The chain of events kicked off with a few kids getting a bit hyper. the kids were getting bored, and probably just needed a switch to a more physical activity.

Counselor over reacted and punished the whole group making them sit silently in a corner and threatening them with school work.

Cue sense of justice, abrupt change in routine, and already at max mental load and ASD DD had an autistic meltdown. It made an already stressed counselor even more stressed which made AsD kid more stressed.. You know how this goes.

We gave our kid the option to take a day off but DD wants to go back (good).

Would you (nicely) educate counselor on what happened and how to handle it in the future or let it go?

[Anonymous]

Is she in a camp for autistic kids? If so, yes give feedback. If no, then don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she in a camp for autistic kids? If so, yes give feedback. If no, then don’t.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

That's inappropriate, autistic or NT. I would say something to the director.

[Anonymous]

If you didn’t disclose your DC’s diagnosis and didn’t educated them on how to handle potential meltdowns beforehand. Well, the counselor’s reaction is expected and not entirely their fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's inappropriate, autistic or NT. I would say something to the director.

I disagree that it’s inappropriate. When you have a teenage counselor trying to handle a group of kids that’s getting out of control, the most effective thing to do is have them sit quietly until they can handle getting back to activities. Call it group punishment if you like but it really isn’t. It’s a technique to keep things safe. We’re not talking about a trained educator from whom you can expect better.

And Clearly the fact that even after that, things continued to escalate means that a real problem existed for a teen to handle.

OP this might not be the right environment for your child. A camp counselor can’t implement your special requests. If that’s your expectation then you need to send your child to a camp that has professionals managing the kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have an issue with having the kids sit a few minutes if they are acting up but my concern is it sounds like it’s more to this and not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ASD DD loved camp until counselor got overwhelmed and decided on a group punishment.

The chain of events kicked off with a few kids getting a bit hyper. the kids were getting bored, and probably just needed a switch to a more physical activity.

Counselor over reacted and punished the whole group making them sit silently in a corner and threatening them with school work.

Cue sense of justice, abrupt change in routine, and already at max mental load and ASD DD had an autistic meltdown. It made an already stressed counselor even more stressed which made AsD kid more stressed.. You know how this goes.

We gave our kid the option to take a day off but DD wants to go back (good).

Would you (nicely) educate counselor on what happened and how to handle it in the future or let it go?

I am curious about how you think you know exactly what happened. You give a really specific description, but where is that info from?

[Anonymous]

How old is the counselor? You get what you pay for-- if you put your kid in a camp with really young, inexperienced staff and a large group ratio, this kind of thing is more likely. Maybe this wasn't the right setting for your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were kids, we behaved. Or got in trouble. Now, kids don't behave. And when they get in trouble, kids feel oppressed and parents complain .

lol! So true!!

Again if this is a special needs camp then my answer would be different…but if it’s for NT kids I would suck it up because the kids may have ALL been out of hand and the counselor needed a reset. Assuming your kid was an angel because they told you they were isn’t enough proof. Also. They will be taught/coached by many many different personalities as they grow and sad to say that not everyone is perfectly apt to work with kids even if they do. Group punishment may happen in the future—prepare your kid for that instead of having the world bend to their needs.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the counselor got overwhelmed and frustrated. You need to let the director know that this happened and ask for more oversight with the group. Counselors are often young and screw up. I work at camp and it’s the time of the summer when staff are tired and getting stressed and more support may be needed.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like a good fit for your DD.

[Anonymous]

I’d complain about the punishment but not mention SN or autism. They need to do better to control the kids so it doesn’t get that bad again that they need to punish the good kids along with the bad.

[Anonymous]

It sounds as though you have a very clear sense of what you think happened, but I am concerned that you might be only hearing it from your kid's point of view, or you might be making assumptions and filling things in with your imagination.

As a special ed teacher, I often have parents who will call me and explain to me why something happened when they actually don't even know what happened, and their explanation doesn't match the events.

Did the meltdown happen at camp? If so, if it ended in a way that didn't come to the camp leadership's attention, and didn't result in your kid wanting to stay home, then I would take that as a win.

If the meltdown did come to the camp leadership's attention, then I would assume that they are already coaching the counselor. If they didn't exclude your child, or demand a meeting, then they must be confident that they have strategies that will work in the context of the group.

If you want to talk to them, I'd go in understanding that part autism, particularly in young children, is a distorted understanding of social situations, and that there may have been very good reasons why they asked the kids to sit rather than moving to a more physical activity. Asking kids to do something that's incompatible with unsafe behavior (e.g. asking a kid running around to sit down) is a pretty common strategy with both children and with people with ASD.

So, if the meltdown rose to the level that there were safety issues, I would go in with an open mind and say "I'd love to know more about this incident, so that we can figure out what skills and knowledge to target going forward. Can you tell me more about what happened?"

I'm also going to say that suggesting that a kid who is willing to go back into a situation stay home has the potential to backfire.

[Anonymous]

What age? And what did the meltdown look like?

You sound really angry and put out by what the counselor did and you are completely wrong about that.

I don't think the counselor did anything wrong. This is a normal consequence and as others have pointed out it it's usually a good way to calm kids down, regardless of whether it's just or unjust.

Did you inform the camp of your child's special needs? If you didn't you should really think hard about doing it next time as this unfair for your child and the counselor and other kids. If your child was at any risk of a meltdown due to the issues you pointed out that should have been communicated so they could have discussed appropriate ways to handle any issues in advance.

Hopefully it wasn't a huge meltdown with screaming and kicking but maybe just a younger child crying which is okay.