Teen son not listening/hearing/something? during a conversation?? Any idea?

[Anonymous]

My son 14 started about six months ago asking us to repeat ourselves or stopping movies to repeat scenes. He also will ask us a follow up questions about some arguably obscure part of the conversation and ask us to repeat that part.

He’s always been curious and would “listen from the other room” but this is different and at times it feels constant.

It can be annoying and I’m concerned about the social implications. At times you he might interrupt and ask multiple questions while telling a story “he said what?” “And then you said X?” And then he’ll ask another question 30 secs later. It tries the patience time after time.

We have tried to make him aware of it and said things like “what did you hear me say” but he does not react well and doing that hasn’t helped. He seems self conscious of it.

He has adhd and anxiety, is medicated. It does seem worse at some times (maybe when he’s tired? Not 100% sure).

He just had an updated neuropsych and recently had his hearing tested at the pediatrician. The neuropsych showed normal processing speed (literally 50th percentile) with high percentiles for intelligence. Hearing was normal. We thought it could be either of these: hearing or delayed processing, but now we’re stumped.

Any thoughts of what this could be, what to do, or who to talk to about it? Or will he possibly just out grow it and we pray for especially patient and accepting friends? (He starts a new school this year)

[Anonymous]

Could he have ear wax buildup?
My son apparently has very sticky earwax and needs regular cleanings at his ENT, at leadt every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could he have ear wax buildup?
My son apparently has very sticky earwax and needs regular cleanings at his ENT, at leadt every year.

OP here—interesting idea.

[Anonymous]

Auditory processing disorder? Or maybe just a kid who likes to insert themselves in conversations but doesn’t listen great or doesn’t bother applying critical thinking to his engagement?

I have one of each. Sounds slightly more like the second kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could he have ear wax buildup?
My son apparently has very sticky earwax and needs regular cleanings at his ENT, at leadt every year.

OP here—interesting idea.

PP you replied to again. My son is diagnosed with mild autism and severe inattentive ADHD, and all kinds of nebulous sensory issues that go with those. When he was younger, we noticed he had ear issues when he would ask for things to be repeated more often than his normal inattentive ADHD repetitions. And now as a young adult, he can tell when his ears start getting blocked and makes his own appointments. He's supposed to put a drop of oil in his ears (it comes as an ear-specific dispenser) regularly to help with the outward movement of wax, but he doesn't, so he needs the ENT every so often.

[Anonymous]

Here is the thing... I'm ADHD and dyslexic.

My H says to me... I'm going to Home Depot to get the part to fix the door. Ill pick up the paint and some vegetables for the garden and then stop at the store to get steaks for dinner tonight. Can you make a vegetable.

I heard I'm going to Home Depot, can you make a vegetable for dinner.

I can't hold that many things in my brain and quite frankly I don't care what you are getting at Home Depot, that's not on MY to do list.

I might say right after "and Ill pick up the paint"... do you need me to pick a color, am I painting too... You might think... why are you interrupting me and I'm trying to suss out why you are even telling me this.

I can't clutter my brain, I need to know what I need to know.

[Anonymous]

My kid who has OCD does this. She thinks she missed something and needs to constantly rewind or ask us questions again. (And it’s good to not answer again if this is OCD.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid who has OCD does this. She thinks she missed something and needs to constantly rewind or ask us questions again. (And it’s good to not answer again if this is OCD.)

Here is a good article:

https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/repeat-ocd-compulsions/

The website has good info for all ages, not just toddlers, despite the name.

[Anonymous]

It's the ADHD.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who grew up in bilingual (10% English and 90% Spanish) household and doesn't speak Spanish. It takes effort not to pick up Spanish. She has ADHD.

[Anonymous]

I second the ear wax buildup. My DS19 went to an ENT practice (the PA saw him) last month, and she scooped it all out. He said it made a noticeable difference in his hearing.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Spouse and I have some things to discuss—Thank you all for input. I
Am so grateful for this listserve!!!

[Anonymous]

Suggest an EEG to rule out seizures.

[Anonymous]

Get the hearing test. My dad seemed to be going deaf but then they roto-rooted his ear canal and he was much improved.

[Anonymous]

It's not clear that there is a problem here. Lots of "neurotypical" people say boring or annoying things too.

Can you give a very specific example of something you think is offensive or embarrassing that would break a friendship? Then you can work on ways to adjust that. (For example: if you tried to clarify once and still don't understand what they said, then just let it go or make a private note to ask again later, after the current conversation is over.)