Planning trip for next year - sick relative
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Anonymous
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I need some compassionate advice on how to proceed with the following: our immediate family (myself, spouse, two teens) are planning a two week long trip to a faraway destination for next summer, a full year away. I have not officially booked yet, but given the popularity of the destination, it will need to happen sooner than later to guarantee certain desires are met. We do not make trips like these often given time and money constraints and our kids are getting older so future opportunities may be limited.
We just received unfortunate news that one of our elderly parents has a terminal illness. We are devastated and want to be as supportive as we can. It is unclear how much time they have left. Likely just over a year or less, according to doctors. Would you book, or not? Obviously, if we do book, we'd secure good travel insurance. |
Anonymous
| If it’s truly terminal in the sense that they have 12 months or less to live, I would push off the trip. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but have either of you dealt with the death of a parent before? People deal with grief in very different ways and the stress of an international trip While managing these feelings may not be the dream trip you imagined. |
Anonymous
| What would your relative want you to do? Go on this exciting family trip or sit around waiting for them to die? I'm guessing they would want you to go. |
Anonymous
| How much would be refundable within 2 weeks of the trip? |
Anonymous
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I recently lost my mom a year after her stage 4 cancer diagnosis. Planning for the not-distant future was agonizing for me . . . do I discourage DD from studying abroad for a semester? Do we plan to travel to Europe in March? Will this be our last holiday with my mom and should we do X instead of Y?
It's overwhelming and part of an extended anticipatory grieving process that can suck the joy out of pretty much everything. My mom was insistent that we live our lives as normally as possible. So DD studied abroad, and we went to Europe, and we did Y for Easter . . . and I have no regrets about any of those choices. My advice to you is to be there for your loved one when you can, spend as much time with them as your life will allow, and continue to make time for special things for yourself with the understanding that you may have to change or cancel plans at the last minute. I'm sorry you're going through this---it's terrible sad and stressful, but knowing your time is limited also gives you the chance to say all of the things you want to say before you have to say goodbye. |
Anonymous
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Any of my relatives would tell me to book the trip, and spend as much time with them as possible. It’s 2 weeks out of 52. You’re not abandoning them or something.
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Anonymous
| How much of the trip would be cancelable/refundable? |
Anonymous
| If you decide to book, get travel insurance that cancel for any reason ( cfar). |
Anonymous
| Life goes on. Just book it. Bold to assume we all won't be dead by next summer due to nuclear war. |
Anonymous
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I struggle with something similar. My husband's mother is not terminally ill, but she is very old and we have expected her passing for a few years now, as any virus could be the end.
We talked through scenarios, like if she dies right before a trip, would we still go? Or if she was very sick right before a booked trip, would we still go? And my husband's answer was always yes, so we have booked trips a year out for a few years now. |
Anonymous
Seek therapy... |
Anonymous
| Plan your trip and get cancel for any reason trip insurance. Then you're covered wither way. Life doesn't stop for an illness, even a terminal one |
Anonymous
| I think I would book, but it's a tough call. Part of that depends on how far away you live from the parent and how much leave you have from work. Towards the end, you should expect several trips there for hospital visits, plus the time you'll need after the parent passes. It's not just planning around a funeral. |
Anonymous
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Keep in mind that CFAR only covers 50-75% of trip costs. Instead I would just pay for fully refundable flights and a hotel that is cancelable until a few days out. Lilly you’ll get to go, but that is what would give me most piece of mind.
We did take an unplanned vacation shortly after we lost my mom, but it was to somewhere familiar to us that didn’t require much planning and it was a welcome relief. I’m sorry OP. |
Anonymous
Good point. Or anything else really. Next pandemic, poison in our food and water, planes falling out of the skies. Just go OP. I wouldn't want anyone hanging around my deathbed moping. |