If your child isn't a texter/caller, how did that work out once they left for college?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| One of my kids doesn't like texting or talking on the phone. He'll do it of course but just isn't a priority. He has tons of unanswered group texts from friends so it's not just a parent-kid thing. We've had a lot of talks about how text is an important communication tool and it's rude not to answer. I was never a big phone person so understand to a point, but texting is so easy. I think I'll never hear from him once he's in college. How did you maintain your relationship if you had a non-communicator? Thanks |
Anonymous
| Telling him his allowance is conditioned on FaceTime call once per week. This is sooooo crucial to maintain a regular conversation with him. |
Anonymous
| Once a week scheduled call to check in. I send texts that don’t necessarily require a response (eg photo of the dog) but sometimes I get them and sometimes I don’t |
Anonymous
| We made him call us once a week. Otherwise texts were few and far between. |
Anonymous
|
Tell him that you need him to check in/respond so that you don't worry. Ask if he prefers a specific time or just an agreement to do it at least once a week. And your end of the bargain is not to bother him daily.
My kid isn't much of a communicator either but does reply/call back about 30-50% of the time. If it's important and I don't hear back I contact him again and say that he needs to reply, but I save that for actual important stuff. Like it's not really important that he tell me how his test went, but if he has a cough and fever I do expect him to respond with how he's doing a day or two later. Or if we are booking his flight home, he needs to respond with relevant info. Also, our family has each other on "find my iphone". That was helpful for me his first semester because I could check independently and see that he was leaving his dorm room, in a classroom building, at the dining hall, etc. Helpful for just general "proof of life" reassurance". Later he developed a strong friend group and I felt more reassured that other people would be looking out for him. |
Anonymous
| We had a standing family call on sundays, and told them they were required to chive proof of life each Wednesday. Twice a week. |
Anonymous
|
I would text, “are you alive” every once in a while if they had not reached out. That was deemed acceptable.
Every once in a while was probably max twice a week. YMMV |
Anonymous
| Family 360 works so much better than find my phone. |
Anonymous
| You just might not hear from him. And it’s okay. A mandatory weekend phone call seems like a lot for a college student. |
Anonymous
Why? 5 minutes per week anyone can do |
Anonymous
| I text photos of the dog a few times a week and that usually gets a response (proof of life, at least). We have a standing time for a phone call each week that she puts up with, even if it just lasts a few minutes. |
Anonymous
| Keeping regular check-ins are important for well being. College students nowadays often have depression. Checking in regularly can sometimes help the kids before it develops further. |
Anonymous
Give me a break. |
Anonymous
| It is not that texting and phone calls are not a priority to him. It is that YOU are not a priority for him. He cannot text people back but if he prioritized you, he would do it without prompting. Figure out why you all have this type of relationship. |
Anonymous
| Hm. My kid signed me up for Snapchat and insisted on using it as our means of communication most of the time. This was actually kind of fun: I would get random snaps of people or things in a classroom, or a pretty view of the snowy quad, or proof that laundry was being done, sometimes with captions (ie, snaps of two different outfit choices or shoes and a request for input, or a pic of a little dog a professor brought to class that looked like ours, etc). And a phone call once a week. |