Can you be bad and still be a good person?

[Anonymous]

How do you make the decision of liking someone or not? Or if you think they are nice to you but only sometimes?

This one woman I work with smiles to me, she’s always laughing and she is truly helpful. But then she will say certain things like backhanded compliments, or be fake.
Or not be honest with the boss because it would make me look good and make her look bad.

So she really isn’t nice then. But then I feel mean that I don’t like her.

[Anonymous]

Jesus said only God is good.

Every single person cares most about itself which is the foundation of bad.

[Anonymous]

Well you just know that she can't be trusted. So you keep her at arms length and practice the same smiling, cheerful and helpful demeanor she's displaying but you don't have lunch with her / go out after work or trust her with ANY private information about your life.

[Anonymous]

In the bedroom, yes. How you treat others, no.

[Anonymous]

There are a ton of good people that do bad things but it’s rare they do bad things or they are just having a bad day.

The person you are describing is a bad person who can pretend to be good at times usually to get what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of good people that do bad things but it’s rare they do bad things or they are just having a bad day.

The person you are describing is a bad person who can pretend to be good at times usually to get what they want.

Wow. You make a good point. It’s like they’re masking.
This woman I’m talking about screamed at another guy here at work in front of our boss. The guy is annoying but who does that?

[Anonymous]

This is a very odd post. Feels like it's written by a young teen or tween who is still seeing the world in very black and white, which isn't something you see in many adults.

There are no (or at least very, very few) people who are all bad. Almost everyone is a mix of good and bad. We do good things, we do bad things, we have positive traits, we have negative traits. Attempting to label or categorize everyone as a "good person" or a "bad person" is irrational and unproductive.

You also don't need to make a "decision" about whether you like someone or you don't. Again, it doesn't need to be that black and white. You can have a holistic view of someone. So, in your view, this person is generally pleasant to be around, and she's a helpful coworker. Sometimes she can be fake, and it's more important to her to look good to the boss than to be honest. Okay. Sounds like a reasonable assessment. So, she's probably not going to be your best friend. But you can enjoy her company at work, and thank her honestly for her help, and remember that she will not always have your back, so you do need to be a bit wary. And of course, you treat her with professionalism, as she's a coworker, and kindly, as she is a fellow human being. The end.

Also, being mean is an action. Deciding someone isn't your favorite person, or recognizing their flaws, or even disliking someone, isn't on its own "mean."

[Anonymous]

I try not to think about it as "good person" versus "bad person." For my own sanity, I try to just evaluate behavior and decide whether this is someone I want to spend more time with or less.

But I relate to your example OP because I have known many people like this, who are friendly and nice but also gossip, say passive aggressive things that are hurtful, etc. I guess this is what is meant by "mean girl" behavior. All I know is that I don't like spending time around people like this because it's confusing for me. I don't know where I stand and if they use these negative behaviors against other people, I don't want to participate or get drawn into it. So I just look for ways to avoid them.

I have noticed other people often really like people like this. I don't know why. I try not to dwell on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very odd post. Feels like it's written by a young teen or tween who is still seeing the world in very black and white, which isn't something you see in many adults.

There are no (or at least very, very few) people who are all bad. Almost everyone is a mix of good and bad. We do good things, we do bad things, we have positive traits, we have negative traits. Attempting to label or categorize everyone as a "good person" or a "bad person" is irrational and unproductive.

You also don't need to make a "decision" about whether you like someone or you don't. Again, it doesn't need to be that black and white. You can have a holistic view of someone. So, in your view, this person is generally pleasant to be around, and she's a helpful coworker. Sometimes she can be fake, and it's more important to her to look good to the boss than to be honest. Okay. Sounds like a reasonable assessment. So, she's probably not going to be your best friend. But you can enjoy her company at work, and thank her honestly for her help, and remember that she will not always have your back, so you do need to be a bit wary. And of course, you treat her with professionalism, as she's a coworker, and kindly, as she is a fellow human being. The end.

Also, being mean is an action. Deciding someone isn't your favorite person, or recognizing their flaws, or even disliking someone, isn't on its own "mean."

+1 Use some critical thinking

[Anonymous]

We are all angels and devils. This is a topic as old as humanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you make the decision of liking someone or not? Or if you think they are nice to you but only sometimes?

This one woman I work with smiles to me, she’s always laughing and she is truly helpful. But then she will say certain things like backhanded compliments, or be fake.
Or not be honest with the boss because it would make me look good and make her look bad.

So she really isn’t nice then. But then I feel mean that I don’t like her.

Yeah ,

Of course. Kristin Bien was good to her puppy. Oh wait, she murdered the poor puppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you make the decision of liking someone or not? Or if you think they are nice to you but only sometimes?

This one woman I work with smiles to me, she’s always laughing and she is truly helpful. But then she will say certain things like backhanded compliments, or be fake.
Or not be honest with the boss because it would make me look good and make her look bad.

So she really isn’t nice then. But then I feel mean that I don’t like her.

There are no "good" or "bad" people. Only good or bad actions, which everyone does both.

[Anonymous]

Why does it have to be black and white OP?

[Anonymous]

Yes. And vice-versa.

[Anonymous]

This is just my own personal opinion but I find that whether a person is good or bad primarily depends on the actions/behavior of the person.