Husband's thought process

[Anonymous]

So We have been having conversations about behaviors in the marriage. Things that I will bring up that he does that effects everything. He told me that he sees these things but does not change. I said that's not fair at all I am pretty forgiving with a lot. He said to me I did not suggest this he said that he wants to use punishments when needed for his behaviors. I said what does that even mean your an adult he said i don't care that's what I want to do. So I said punish you how. He said when something comes up he wants sex to come off the table. I laughed like no joke. He said it's not a joke and to prove to me he wants a 2 week punishment no sex to show he is serious. What do I even do with this he is determined and serious.

[Anonymous]

Both of you are immature, but you are not entitled to his body. It's not communal property. No means no, even if it's out of spite/punishment/proving point/retaliation. Tbh yall sound like you deserve each other. Stay together so no one else has to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So We have been having conversations about behaviors in the marriage. Things that I will bring up that he does that effects everything. He told me that he sees these things but does not change. I said that's not fair at all I am pretty forgiving with a lot. He said to me I did not suggest this he said that he wants to use punishments when needed for his behaviors. I said what does that even mean your an adult he said i don't care that's what I want to do. So I said punish you how. He said when something comes up he wants sex to come off the table. I laughed like no joke. He said it's not a joke and to prove to me he wants a 2 week punishment no sex to show he is serious. What do I even do with this he is determined and serious.

Paddle him. He'll find out it won't be fun.
And you get to vent you frustration

[Anonymous]

I never said I am entitled to his body at all? How am I immature?

[Anonymous]

You nag him into divorce.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he wants to be dominated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he wants to be dominated

Idk honestly not sure where to even begin with that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s only motivated by negative consequences

[Anonymous]

My answer would be: I like sex too so why should I be punished bc you did something wrong?

And ew no. I am not his mom and wont be handing out punishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My answer would be: I like sex too so why should I be punished bc you did something wrong?

And ew no. I am not his mom and wont be handing out punishments.

I agree I do that's exactly how I feel I am not his mother. He feels it's something he needs or wants. I have never heard of this ever.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a weird way to try to get out of having sex and then later being able to use it against you. "You were punishing me by withholding sex, of course I found some elsewhere!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird way to try to get out of having sex and then later being able to use it against you. "You were punishing me by withholding sex, of course I found some elsewhere!".

I mean your right but this was all his doing he is pushing this not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird way to try to get out of having sex and then later being able to use it against you. "You were punishing me by withholding sex, of course I found some elsewhere!".

I mean your right but this was all his doing he is pushing this not me.

Yeah and then he's going to gaslight you in the end. That's why he's setting this up as a punishment you inflict on him for his wrongdoings. He may be suggesting it but I guarantee when the time comes, he will say it was all you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird way to try to get out of having sex and then later being able to use it against you. "You were punishing me by withholding sex, of course I found some elsewhere!".

I mean your right but this was all his doing he is pushing this not me.

Yeah and then he's going to gaslight you in the end. That's why he's setting this up as a punishment you inflict on him for his wrongdoings. He may be suggesting it but I guarantee when the time comes, he will say it was all you.

True I never had that thought he would do that but it sounds like he could do this. That does make sense because I said how about we just take sex off the table mutually and he didn't like that response. He only responds to its a punishment I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird way to try to get out of having sex and then later being able to use it against you. "You were punishing me by withholding sex, of course I found some elsewhere!".

I mean your right but this was all his doing he is pushing this not me.

Yeah and then he's going to gaslight you in the end. That's why he's setting this up as a punishment you inflict on him for his wrongdoings. He may be suggesting it but I guarantee when the time comes, he will say it was all you.

True I never had that thought he would do that but it sounds like he could do this. That does make sense because I said how about we just take sex off the table mutually and he didn't like that response. He only responds to its a punishment I guess?

Yep he's definitely looking to paint you as the "evil " one who is withholding sex. Any suspicion that he's cheating? This really does sound like he's setting the stage to play the poor husband whose mean wife withholds sex because she is punishing him for things he does she doesn't like.