“Old age anxiety”, just need to vent!

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this is the right forum but I think my issue has to do with aging and maybe perimenopause.
I am 49, and noticing that I have more and more of what I call old age anxiety because I see a lot of it in older people around me. I am fine day to day, but anything out of the ordinary (a longer plane trip, car battery died, things like that) just make me very anxious and cause general imbalance! I can even throw up before the trip, especially if it’s an early morning flight (I’ve started to avoid those).

However what concerns me the most is car trouble and how I react to it. Even 5 years ago when I changed my car battery it was a drag but nothing more. Now it’s an ordeal, when I discovered it was dead at night it really made me upset (my fault for not changing it earlier, the signs were there, but again I had anxiety around it and kept putting it off). I was up early morning arranging to jumpstart the car and take it to the store. I am now very tired and somehow upset with all the interactions that took place in and around the battery store (again nothing major just my anxiety and hyper vigilance mostly).

For the first time in many years I feel like maybe I need a man. No, not for sex or companionship; just for taking care of my car, my furniture and what not. Sadly I am only half kidding.

It just makes me so sad to be like this. Even 5 years ago it was so much easier. It’s ridiculous to be anxious about normal house and car stuff, but my next anxiety point is that I need to go buy and assemble a dresser. Maybe I need someone for household projects but I don’t know where to look for people like this. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Your emotions and feelings of hypervigilance and vulnerability are concerning, OP, but at least it's good you're noticing them. Some of my female friends are older than you, and while some rely on their husbands to take care of vehicles, a lot of them don't bat an eye at car maintenance and manage it all themselves. They have not reported feeling more anxious or vulnerable around such chores. Perimenopause has made some of them more moody in general, prone to frustration, etc, but it doesn't translate into feeling unable to do things.

I have the paralyzing anxiety I'm 45 and have always had it, though.

I suggest you get yourself bloodwork to determine if your thyroid is working as it should, if you've not anemic, etc. Rule out physical issues first, and then if everything is normal, talk to a psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, I always had some anxiety but not like that. Interestingly I don’t see many day to day mood changes, it’s only extreme stuff like this but not too often.

Do you think thyroid and anemia can cause this?

My older friends might not be anxious around cars but they are anxious about anything that’s relatively new or rare for them - anything they need to do every once in a while as opposed to every day or even monthly.

[Anonymous]

Yes anxiety can worsen in peri. I never felt anxiety before peri (not as a more permanent part of my personality). You can look into SSRIs and hrt.

[Anonymous]

My mom’s anxiety has gone through the roof with declining estrogen. She is 77 now and it’s unmanageable. She was taken off HRT when the concerning findings from the Women’s Health Initiative (iirc the name) study came back.

[Anonymous]

Lexapro.

[Anonymous]

I feel you op. I've suddenly developed a major fear of going to the doctors, driving over bridges and thunderstorms with lighting this on top of regular everyday things like car maintenance appts. Trying to travel now even close trips 1-3 hours is a total nightmare.

Wondering if this ever ends.

[Anonymous]

I have some similar anxieties but those didn't show up badly except just before travel until I was 70.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes anxiety can worsen in peri. I never felt anxiety before peri (not as a more permanent part of my personality). You can look into SSRIs and hrt.

So for HRT my NP said it’s too early since I have regular cycle still (though shorter and heavier flow).

I don’t know if I need SSRIs if I am not anxious every day. I do have something (atarax?) for bouts of anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom’s anxiety has gone through the roof with declining estrogen. She is 77 now and it’s unmanageable. She was taken off HRT when the concerning findings from the Women’s Health Initiative (iirc the name) study came back.

Did HRT use to help her though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you op. I've suddenly developed a major fear of going to the doctors, driving over bridges and thunderstorms with lighting this on top of regular everyday things like car maintenance appts. Trying to travel now even close trips 1-3 hours is a total nightmare.

Wondering if this ever ends.

Thank you! May I ask how old you are? And how do you manage it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have some similar anxieties but those didn't show up badly except just before travel until I was 70.

But for travel they showed up earlier? When?
I am ok traveling alone and close (like 2 hr flights) but had to take atarax before the trip to the other coast with my teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you op. I've suddenly developed a major fear of going to the doctors, driving over bridges and thunderstorms with lighting this on top of regular everyday things like car maintenance appts. Trying to travel now even close trips 1-3 hours is a total nightmare.

Wondering if this ever ends.

You might want to try an SSRI. No need to live that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some similar anxieties but those didn't show up badly except just before travel until I was 70.

But for travel they showed up earlier? When?
I am ok traveling alone and close (like 2 hr flights) but had to take atarax before the trip to the other coast with my teen

.

You mean Ativan? Or Xanax?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some similar anxieties but those didn't show up badly except just before travel until I was 70.

But for travel they showed up earlier? When?
I am ok traveling alone and close (like 2 hr flights) but had to take atarax before the trip to the other coast with my teen

.

You mean Ativan? Or Xanax?

No, Atarax.
Something they made me try out before prescribing Xanax
I only took half a pill once and it was ok. Did the job