Toilet Anxiety in Children – Have You Faced This?

[Denis_8]

Hello!
I'm a dad from Latvia and I’d really like to hear from other parents who might have faced something similar.

My daughter refused to poop in the toilet until the age of 5. She was otherwise healthy, understood everything, and had no problem using the potty or toilet for urination. But when it came to bowel movements, she absolutely refused to go in the toilet or on the potty. She would ask for a diaper, hold it in for days, and sometimes become very anxious or distressed.

We even spoke with a psychologist who said this can be a form of anxiety or a fear of losing control. But as a parent, it’s really difficult — you don’t know how to help without making things worse.

Have you ever dealt with something like this?
How did you handle it?
What helped — or didn’t help — in your situation?

I’d truly appreciate any advice or personal stories.
Thank you in advance!

[Anonymous]

You are using past tense. Is this a current issue for your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Our son has the same issue (even with the promise of a toy he’s wanted forever hanging over his head if he poops in the toilet). He finally has agreed to go poop in the toilet at age 4.5 — we did a countdown and told him that the diaper company no longer sells diapers to big boys, and he had 20 diapers left to poop in. We warned him every day he was pooping and gave an updated countdown number. When there were about 10 left, he randomly volunteered to try pooping in a toilet. When the diapers ran out, we also switched him to pull ups at night, and told him pull ups are for pee only and bedtime only.

Super not easy and it ended up just being his own decisions when he was ready.

[Denis_8]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience! Your story with your son is very valuable and perfectly illustrates the problem!