Freaked out by my teen- what to do next

[Anonymous]

Background: I have two kids, boy/girl twins. Background: they don’t get along and DS has not been doing well since DH left us 4 years ago. DS is depressed and withdrawn but also has ASD. Most people outside of our family would not recognize it but his needs and moods and behavior at home definitely affect DD’s life.

DD got a long-awaited new Jolyn suit for summer swim, and promptly lost it. I got mad at her and told her there would be no replacement. She is down to just 2 suits for practice and really needed this one, but with two teens who constantly need stuff, $70 is a lot and I can’t replace it right now. She is 14 and babysits but not often enough that she’ll have $70 until mid-July or so.

Fast forward to today, which is the day I change sheets. The rule is that if the kids don’t strip their beds themselves before they leave for the day, I have permission to go in their rooms and strip their beds and they have to remake them. DD had already taken care of hers, DS did not. I stripped his sheets and as I was putting a slipped mattress pad corner back on, I felt something and yanked it.

It was DD’s new swimsuit.

I didn’t think anything at first and then thought maybe he stole it to screw her over, but then I found a bottle of lubricant rolled inside it. Freaking out now.

I haven’t told DD because I don’t know how to explain this to her. I haven’t said anything to DS because I’m freaked out.

I’m freaking out- is DS using her swimsuit for…something? This is so messed up but I feel like confronting him will not be productive. Help.

[Anonymous]

What’s a Jolyn suit? Is that like a cock sleeve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s a Jolyn suit? Is that like a cock sleeve?

Ew no.

It’s just a brand of swimsuit that is often worn by teenage girls for swim team practice and considered more stylish than a Speedo or a TYR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a Jolyn suit? Is that like a cock sleeve?

Ew no.

It’s just a brand of swimsuit that is often worn by teenage girls for swim team practice and considered more stylish than a Speedo or a TYR.

So it’s just a plain swimsuit that your son turned into a cock sleeve? I’d let the boy keep it and front DD some money for a new one. Nobody wants to wear a swimsuit with their brothers juice on it.

[Anonymous]

^ and I’d make the boy pay for it. Do some chores or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a Jolyn suit? Is that like a cock sleeve?

Ew no.

It’s just a brand of swimsuit that is often worn by teenage girls for swim team practice and considered more stylish than a Speedo or a TYR.

So it’s just a plain swimsuit that your son turned into a cock sleeve? I’d let the boy keep it and front DD some money for a new one. Nobody wants to wear a swimsuit with their brothers juice on it.

OP here trying to ignore some of the vivid language you're sharing: how on earth does one say, hi DS, are you pleasuring yourself using your sister’s clothing? And then how do I tell DD she’ll be getting a new swimsuit because her brother defiled hers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a Jolyn suit? Is that like a cock sleeve?

Ew no.

It’s just a brand of swimsuit that is often worn by teenage girls for swim team practice and considered more stylish than a Speedo or a TYR.

So it’s just a plain swimsuit that your son turned into a cock sleeve? I’d let the boy keep it and front DD some money for a new one. Nobody wants to wear a swimsuit with their brothers juice on it.

OP here trying to ignore some of the vivid language you're sharing: how on earth does one say, hi DS, are you pleasuring yourself using your sister’s clothing? And then how do I tell DD she’ll be getting a new swimsuit because her brother defiled hers?

I wouldn’t ask him what he did with you already know. I’d say hey I found your sisters swimsuit and it’s wrong that you took it and even more wrong that you didn’t say you had it when she was looking for it. You are now going to buy her a new one because that one is now unsanitary for her to wear. Tell the sister her brother stole it and’s ruined it and you’re going to make him buy her a new one. You can leave out the cock sleeve part until she’s much much older.

[Anonymous]

OP, first off I’m so sorry.

Here is my suggestion..

Let DD know you miraculously found her swimsuit and that it must have slipped behind some furniture when you were folding clothes.

Do not mention it to DS at all.
Don’t make eye contact when you announce that you found it, don’t let on at all that this is a thing. Just happy news that you found it. That’s all. The end.

DS will know that this isn’t the whole story but he won’t acknowledge it or confess because the truth is beyond embarrassing. And honestly you don’t want to know and don’t need to know the entire story.

The good news (if there is any in this) is that it likely does NOT have anything to do sexually with your DD.
The two possible explanations are that he grabbed the closets garment in a hamper or off a drying rack to use as a “helper” to
Pleasure himself and it just happened to be that expensive thing and he didn’t want to confess to that.
And second possibility is that he is trying on the swimsuit for himself and is feeding a body dysmorphic fantasy utilizing this piece of clothing.

Either way—he isn’t likely to want to share that with you and it’s nothing to “confront” so just celebrate that you found the lost item and move on.

If he wants to confess at some point, he will. But I wouldn’t make this a hill to die on. It’s too volatile and unnecessarily embarrassing for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, first off I’m so sorry.

Here is my suggestion..

Let DD know you miraculously found her swimsuit and that it must have slipped behind some furniture when you were folding clothes.

Do not mention it to DS at all.
Don’t make eye contact when you announce that you found it, don’t let on at all that this is a thing. Just happy news that you found it. That’s all. The end.

DS will know that this isn’t the whole story but he won’t acknowledge it or confess because the truth is beyond embarrassing. And honestly you don’t want to know and don’t need to know the entire story.

The good news (if there is any in this) is that it likely does NOT have anything to do sexually with your DD.
The two possible explanations are that he grabbed the closets garment in a hamper or off a drying rack to use as a “helper” to
Pleasure himself and it just happened to be that expensive thing and he didn’t want to confess to that.
And second possibility is that he is trying on the swimsuit for himself and is feeding a body dysmorphic fantasy utilizing this piece of clothing.

Either way—he isn’t likely to want to share that with you and it’s nothing to “confront” so just celebrate that you found the lost item and move on.

If he wants to confess at some point, he will. But I wouldn’t make this a hill to die on. It’s too volatile and unnecessarily embarrassing for everyone.

Ewww either way that swimsuit is covered in jizz. You want the mom just to give it back to the daughter to wear? Like nothing happened? 🤮

[Anonymous]

I disagree that this makes the suit unsanitary or unwearable. Just wash it. Twice if you want to.
And let your DD wear it.
Do not tell her where you found it. Lie if you need to. DS is definitely not going to contradict whatever story you come up with and he is certainly not going to tell her so she doesn’t need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that this makes the suit unsanitary or unwearable. Just wash it. Twice if you want to.
And let your DD wear it.
Do not tell her where you found it. Lie if you need to. DS is definitely not going to contradict whatever story you come up with and he is certainly not going to tell her so she doesn’t need to know.

I could never let my daughter wear a swimsuit that her son did that on. More power to you.

[Anonymous]

This is kind of gross op. But I am hopeful that he’s not fantasizing about his sister. If he were he’d probably take her used clothing, not brand new one.

In any case, I feel for you.

[Anonymous]

Get her a new suit and tell her you realize she needs a third suit. This isn’t a lie do not tell her that her brother has her suit.

Confiscate the suit and either throw it out or donate it after washing it in the washing machine if that won’t ruin it. Tell your son that he should not take his sister‘s things, and he should not commit a lie of omission. If he doesn’t know what that is, explain it. If you have a courage, you might also say that when he wants a long time, he should not use his sister’s things or your things.

[Anonymous]

He might just like the feel of that fabric, rather than having some kind of perverted thing going on about his sister.

[Anonymous]

Grownups know that bodily fluids wash out of clothes, sheets, etc. It's rare to be a parent who has escaped having baby pee or poop on them.

I would tell DS not to steal his sister's things, wash the suit, and give it back.