Do I call and apologize?

[Anonymous]

DS with anxiety and ADHD had a meltdown at a party this afternoon while I was at work, crying and yelling profanities. DH brought him to the party and picked up by him up. Sounds like the mom was pretty gracious about it, but mentioned “he had a tough time” at the party. I don’t really know this mom, but our kids are friendly. Seems like some conflict was happening not just with my kid, but DS behavior was definitely not appropriate. Do I reach out on DS behalf and apologize?

[Anonymous]

Why’d he have a meltdown?

[Anonymous]

How old? Very different situation if 5 or 12.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it would hurt. It would be a nice gesture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it would hurt. It would be a nice gesture.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would. I would also reconsider if dropping him off at parties is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would call, first to apologize, and second to get more details. Be very honest with the host and tell them that it's sometimes hard to gauge what social activities your kid can do without your supervision, and that any detail she can give you will be helpful for you to assess his progress. She will probably err on the side of politeness, but it will build sympathy for you. Thank her for including your son.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it can't hurt and you may learn something.

Did your DH pick him up early at her request?

I would reconsider dropoffs or, if he's at an age where it's embarrassing to have a parent there, have him attend for a shorter time.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course! "I'm so sorry DS got so upset that he was cursing and that his outburst took attention away from the birthday boy, and your attention away from the party."

If you can have DS apologize that would be great, even if he writes it and drops it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course! "I'm so sorry DS got so upset that he was cursing and that his outburst took attention away from the birthday boy, and your attention away from the party."

If you can have DS apologize that would be great, even if he writes it and drops it off.

This. It's a simple apology and doesn't try to excuse his behavior. It won't hurt to send something along these lines but I think it could potentially hurt not to say anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Agree with above poster that he might not be ready to be dropped off yet. I spent many birthday parties in the ring and just brought a book so I was there when I was needed, but out of the way.

[Anonymous]

What was the issue at the party that he had a meltdown OP?

[Anonymous]

I would call or text but if he has a tuff time at parties a parent should stay.

[Anonymous]

Of course you apologize. That's basic manners.

[Anonymous]

Goodness. Yes.