The unexpected downside of finding a hobby I love in middle age

[Anonymous]

I don't have anywhere near enough time to do it. I took up tennis last year at 42, discovered I absolutely love it (never really played before beyond a few rec classes in elementary school) and now it's all I want to do. Bonus is that it's great for my health, plus it's social in a really easy, natural way. Pretty much the ideal hobby!

And now I get annoyed because I can't play anywhere near as often as I'd like. My league is having a mini-tourney this weekend and I can't go because I have parenting duties, I regularly have to turn down hitting partners because I can't get away at lunch or after work more than a couple times a week, etc. On top of that, opportunities to play are so much more limited in the winter because of the weather and it gets costly to rent indoor courts or pay for a year round club membership.

I'll have way more time to play when I'm retired but that's not for years and years, and I'm so much healthier and faster and more energetic now than I will be in my 60s.

Anyone else have this problem? I fantasize about quitting my job just so I can play tennis everyday (it's a true fantasy, I of course cannot and will not do this).

[Anonymous]

Not as much need as you. But you should try to make time for yourself. Do you have a partner who can watch the kids? Men used to want to play golf each weekend. Never thought twice. Women need to put themselves first more often.

[Anonymous]

I think you should play every day. Teach the kids how to sit quietly and read a book while you play.

[Anonymous]

I play 3x a week normally at my city’s tennis center which is a 10-min walk from where I live. It’s incredible and I’m a tennis addict. Have you looked into something like that? I do group drills with round robin games mostly.

[Anonymous]

I fantasize about quitting my job too and having time for hobbies. One day one day……

[Anonymous]

I got really into tennis when I lived in Dallas (fabulous tennis weather!) but then moved to another city and it broke my heart. I went from feeling like you, OP, completely addicted and fantasizing about tennis camps and running away just to play tennis. But then I tried to break into local tennis leagues and encountered catty nastiness, gatekeeping, cliques, etc. I think I’m on a permanent waitlist to join a team that’s not even a real waitlist!

So I backed off and settle for occasional clinics and classes. But I still encounter some of the people obsessed with keeping tennis as just their thing, and have concluded that I need to either get my rating up to something ridiculous like 4.5 or find a way to pretend to be a beginner.

I’m looking for an equally satisfying hobby that’s more welcoming.