Pregnant with Rainbow baby — how to escape the anxiety

[Anonymous]

Recently found out I’m pregnant with rainbow baby. After a miscarriage last year at 6 weeks and several chemical pregnancies before that I’m so excited but very nervous with this baby. I just want this one to stick and I can’t stop worrying about it. Any mama who dealt with this - what helped you drown out the negative emotions and how far along were you able to feel confident in the baby sticking?

[Anonymous]

First, parenting is all worry and anxiety. Better to get that under control asap otherwise, the next 30 years will be very stressful! Second, you can start to feel confident in the pregnancy after the 12 week checkup - that is at least when I was sure.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been there. It’s hard, but just take it day by day. I started to feel confident around 15 weeks. You can do this. And congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, nothing did! I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was heartbreaking. I never really felt comfortable until the baby was delivered and healthy.

[Anonymous]

I would repeat to myself, “today, I am pregnant.” The worry never goes away fully. First it’ll be making it to 12 weeks, then anatomy scan at 20 weeks, then viability, then delivery. I never felt confident until baby was in my arms.

[Anonymous]

I've had 5 miscarriages, all at 5-9 weeks. The first one was very sad, and then the others were a little easier to bear. I just expected it and lived my very short-lived pregnancies day by day. One of my close friends lived through the same experiences in the same way.

I really hope yours is sticky!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would repeat to myself, “today, I am pregnant.” The worry never goes away fully. First it’ll be making it to 12 weeks, then anatomy scan at 20 weeks, then viability, then delivery. I never felt confident until baby was in my arms.

Same...felt better after nipt and nt and then after 20 week and after 24 errk viability felt more confident ( my sister delivered at 24 weeks)

[Anonymous]

Nothing really helps. I had losses up to 15 weeks and, in my worst fears manifested, after losing 5+ in a row my rainbow baby was born via c section with 2 true knots in the cord so rare that could have taken him from me at any moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had 5 miscarriages, all at 5-9 weeks. The first one was very sad, and then the others were a little easier to bear. I just expected it and lived my very short-lived pregnancies day by day. One of my close friends lived through the same experiences in the same way.

I really hope yours is sticky!!!

+1
The good news is that after 5 miscarriages, I had my youngest DD. She's 10 and I tell her all the time how much I wanted her and that she took so long to come. She's just lovely. (I feel that way about my oldest too. I had two miscarriages before my first baby).

[Anonymous]

Honestly I won’t really feel confident until the baby is safely born and in my arms. It’s hard. Wishing you all the best!

[Anonymous]

I also continuously told myself “today I am pregnant and I love my baby”. It was scary and hard to enjoy early pregnancy, and nerve wracking to announce the pregnancy, but you’re doing the best you can for the baby you’re currently growing.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP. FWIW my rainbow baby turns 12 next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, parenting is all worry and anxiety. Better to get that under control asap otherwise, the next 30 years will be very stressful! Second, you can start to feel confident in the pregnancy after the 12 week checkup - that is at least when I was sure.

lol this person has never had a miscarriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also continuously told myself “today I am pregnant and I love my baby”. It was scary and hard to enjoy early pregnancy, and nerve wracking to announce the pregnancy, but you’re doing the best you can for the baby you’re currently growing.

+1 I heard and liked a similar mantra "today I am pregnant and for that I am grateful."

OP the feeling fades with milestones but may not go away. For example I didn't want a baby shower etc for a long time and close to the end I changed my mind. Then we had unexpected complications at delivery and that was scary. So there is always stuff that comes up - my second was hospitalized a few months in for other issues. I agree with a PP that part of being a parent (and probably our personality type) is just worrying.

I joined a moma group in pregnancy that only made things worse but found one in the early infant days that was amazing. Good luck on your journey, mentally and physically!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also continuously told myself “today I am pregnant and I love my baby”. It was scary and hard to enjoy early pregnancy, and nerve wracking to announce the pregnancy, but you’re doing the best you can for the baby you’re currently growing.

OP the feeling fades with milestones but may not go away. For example I didn't want a baby shower etc for a long time and close to the end I changed my mind. Then we had unexpected complications at delivery and that was scary. So there is always stuff that comes up - my second was hospitalized a few months in for other issues. I agree with a PP that part of being a parent (and probably our personality type) is just worrying.

We didn't buy anything but a crib, car seat, diapers/wipes and a couple of onesies. My family threw our baby shower a few weeks after the baby was born. I actually liked this better because then everyone could meet her without having to drop by the house.