Assisted v independent living

[Anonymous]

How do I know which is app for my mother? She is 6 months post-stroke and has been living with me since then. We cannot do it anymore due to space constraints and burnout. I think assisted living will break her spirit but she still has some expressive aphasia and can’t tell time. How do we decide on next step?

[Anonymous]

What sort of day-to-day assistance are you providing her?

[Anonymous]

Independent living provides an apartment, meals, activities and cleaning service. It does not include personal service for medication s, showering, getting dressed, toileting, etc, if your mom needs those kinds of services, they can be purchased but are not provided.

[Anonymous]

Assisted living if you can afford it. She will need it. Whether she needs it this minute is unimportant, overall.

[Anonymous]

If you put her in independent living she'll have to move again later, unless it's continuum of care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I know which is app for my mother? She is 6 months post-stroke and has been living with me since then. We cannot do it anymore due to space constraints and burnout. I think assisted living will break her spirit but she still has some expressive aphasia and can’t tell time. How do we decide on next step?

She cannot go to Ind Living. She is at a point she needs at a minimum assisted living. Does not matter if it "will break her spirit". For her safety, and your sanity, she needs to be somewhere getting daily care that is needed and not burdening you (who is likely working and managing your own immediate family)

[Anonymous]

If she needs a lot of help she needs a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

I would think not just about where she is now, but where she could be in the future. You don't want to end up having to move her more times than necessary. I would try to find a nice place with a continuum of care, if possible.

[Anonymous]

If you talk to the intake person at these places they will help guide you. They s as Leo do their own assessment for placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you talk to the intake person at these places they will help guide you. They s as Leo do their own assessment for placement.

This. Usually places have their own assessment.

If she does go to independent living, make sure it's a place that has an assisted living option if she needs it.

She will need to be able to dress herself, toilet herself and do "activities of daily living" to be in independent living.

[Anonymous]

First, assisted living is different from skilled nursing. A lot of people confuse the two.

It sounds to me like she needs assisted living, but each facility does their own assessment. At least at my dad’s facility, however, those in assisted living can live somewhat independently depending on their needs. They can’t cook or drive, but they can move about the facility, take part in activities, go to the cafeteria, etc. independently. It’s not as if they are constantly in their rooms and can’t do anything without a caretaker signing off.

Agree with those who recommend a continuum of care.

[Anonymous]

My mom is in a continuing care facility. She started in independent living and has transitioned to assisted living. At her place, it’s seamless as you don’t have to change apartments or routines (you just pay more depending on the level of care). If she ever needs memory care, she will have to move to the other side of the building but she already knows many of the caregivers and residents there. This place will let you stay there for hospice care (they don’t not have a “nursing home” or rehab options).

[Anonymous]

AL. The elders I know did not do anywhere near a full recovery from stroke even with rehabilitation. Sadly everyone wants to be in the club where they don't belong. I would make sure you only convey positivity about AL and not feed into her being too advanced for it. Those in independent living want to enjoy that stage and can sometimes be rejecting of their peers who insist on being there perhaps with personal aides. Help her appreciate she stage where she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AL. The elders I know did not do anywhere near a full recovery from stroke even with rehabilitation. Sadly everyone wants to be in the club where they don't belong. I would make sure you only convey positivity about AL and not feed into her being too advanced for it. Those in independent living want to enjoy that stage and can sometimes be rejecting of their peers who insist on being there perhaps with personal aides. Help her appreciate she stage where she is.

Just posted, but wanted to add I agree with the great advice on here-make sure it's continued care, even if she goes to AL. It's so much easier for them to adjust when a move is within the same facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AL. The elders I know did not do anywhere near a full recovery from stroke even with rehabilitation. Sadly everyone wants to be in the club where they don't belong. I would make sure you only convey positivity about AL and not feed into her being too advanced for it. Those in independent living want to enjoy that stage and can sometimes be rejecting of their peers who insist on being there perhaps with personal aides. Help her appreciate she stage where she is.

Just posted, but wanted to add I agree with the great advice on here-make sure it's continued care, even if she goes to AL. It's so much easier for them to adjust when a move is within the same facility.

Absolutely.

My mom moved into AL from IL and while she knows it's the right place for her, she's not happy about it. But what she misses is her IL unit, not the house she lived in for 50+ years. The IL unit felt like home once she settled in. She has lots of friends from her time there.

I can't imagine how she'd be doing if she had to move to a whole new place where she didn't know anyone.