Distancing a friendship for my spouse

[Anonymous]

My best friend and I are very close and like sisters. We tell each other almost everything and we are on the same timeline with marriage and kids. We used to be so close but I’ve been distancing myself because she seems to be in some competition with me. Always comparing our lives and situations. Many little digs at me and my husband. I’m very modest and try not to show off because I know we are financially better off than her. She brings it up almost every time. This has been going on since we started dating our spouses. I’m growing tired of our relationship and so is my husband. Do I listen to my husband ( who has never liked her and distance myself?

[Anonymous]

She sounds rude and jealous. I wouldn’t keep a friend like her.

[Anonymous]

I think you should listen to HER and distance yourself because of how SHE behaves.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried talking to her?

[Anonymous]

What does she say when you point this out?

[Anonymous]

Simply distance yourself.
Not your at husband’s instructions to though.

[Anonymous]

This has almost zero to do with your husband. What do you want to do? When you figure that outside , do it. Stop using your husband as your cover/crutch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has almost zero to do with your husband. What do you want to do? When you figure that outside , do it. Stop using your husband as your cover/crutch.

It has a lot to do with my husband. She makes comments about him. She tries to have her husband one up mine. She tries really hard to one up us and makes comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has almost zero to do with your husband. What do you want to do? When you figure that outside , do it. Stop using your husband as your cover/crutch.

It has a lot to do with my husband. She makes comments about him. She tries to have her husband one up mine. She tries really hard to one up us and makes comments.

Are you saying you would distance yourself for tour husband’s sake or because he thinks you should?

[Anonymous]

But it is all her behavior, or maybe them as a couple.
Who needs that.
Tell her you need to take a step back. If she asks why say it's because the relationship drains you and makes you sade because you remember the long ago good times. Thank her for those and step back.
.

[Anonymous]

It seems she is adding more toxicity in your life than you can tolerate in the name of friendship. Be direct to her and say its no longer adding the value and joy it did so better to end it instead of begrudgingly dragging and ruining it.

[Anonymous]

She isn't more valuable than your mental health and family harmony.

[Anonymous]

She's not your friend let alone you best friend. She's jealous. It happens to the best of relationships, and you have outgrown her. Let the relationship die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend and I are very close and like sisters. We tell each other almost everything and we are on the same timeline with marriage and kids. We used to be so close but I’ve been distancing myself because she seems to be in some competition with me. Always comparing our lives and situations. Many little digs at me and my husband. I’m very modest and try not to show off because I know we are financially better off than her. She brings it up almost every time. This has been going on since we started dating our spouses. I’m growing tired of our relationship and so is my husband. Do I listen to my husband ( who has never liked her and distance myself?

This is one of the main reasons for divorces "being contagious".

NEVER EVER discuss relationship stuff with a female friend. Shut them down if they every talk smack about your relationships.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to keep a friend like this around? She puts your husband down, she compares you two , she makes comments....who wants a friend like that?