How to respond to mean comments during phone calls

[Anonymous]

We have court-ordered phone calls (on a specified schedule) twice a week. These calls are not supposed to be monitored by the custodial parent, and our child is supposed to be in a private place for the conversation.

Unfortunately, every time I call at the scheduled time, our child is in the middle of something fun, and my coparent is standing there, monitoring the call and making disparaging remarks. For example last week, our child was sitting in a movie theater at the scheduled time, watching a movie, and my ex told our child (while we are on the phone) that I was only calling because I didn’t want the child to have any fun.

It’s always something: trampoline park, movies, out to dinner, at a play date, at an amusement park, playing video games. Every single week.

I have tried offering a different call time, but the child is “unavailable”.

I don’t know if I can say “you’re supposed to have a quiet private place to talk to me”, because it’s not like a 10 year old drives their own schedule. And I also don’t know if I can say “no, I’m calling because a judge said this was my call time” because that is putting the child in the middle of the conflict, so I have just been ignoring it.

If you have navigated this issue, how did you handle it? Do I need to just suck it up?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the other parent has the majority of custody, for I assume reasons since all you’ve got is a court mandated phone call. No wonder they are bitter towards you!

[Anonymous]

Can you help me understand the custodial split/parenting time share before I answer?