Postpartum help that is actually helpful
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Anonymous
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We are several months into the postpartum journey and it has been hard for us.
We don’t have family nearby, or friends / community who can really support. We anticipated this situation, and hired a postpartum doula. Unfortunately they were quite underwhelming. Do you have any referrals for postpartum support that has been truly helpful? I feel like we are looking for a unicorn who can just breeze in and wave their magic wand and eagerly support with cooking, house work, and ad hoc items, while also being sensitive to our postpartum situation, and with the eagerness and critical thinking skills to not require intense micromanagement. Not sure if this is a housekeeper, doula, or if this person even exists. Would love to know! |
Anonymous
| Hard to offer advice without information about the trouble you are having. |
Anonymous
| No, Alice from the Brady Bunch does not exist. Seriously, though, this really is a unicorn you are looking for. I think you need to muddle through. Try Factor for meals you can just heat and eat. Use your washer and dryer daily and wear the same clothes over and over. Get outside every day. Take pictures, lots of pictures and videos. Don't worry about a clean house. Hire a person to do a basic vacuum and wipe down each week. Enjoy your baby! It won't really get better for a long time, so get used to the chaos and life-changing outcome of having a kid. It will be OK. |
Anonymous
This is all good advice. I have a four month old and eliminating things to do is the biggest game changer. My husband and I switched to one meal a day for eating to eliminate meal prep and clean up. Get your groceries delivered. Also, get some childcare. Baby is going to A great daycare near our apartment. Simply, simplify, simplify. |
Anonymous
| Several months after having baby means you’re in real life, not “postpartum” where a doula would do anything for you. This is your life now, figure out what kind of help you need and hire it if you want to. Chef, nanny, housekeeper. In 2025 you can hire it all! |
Anonymous
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Get a housekeeping service.
Learn to order grocery delivery. The people cleaning your house and delivering may be new parents too just not with your HHI. |
Anonymous
| Cook unity for meals. Everything is simple elsewhere. Several months in the baby should be sleeping a little better. Divide and conquer as much as you can. Everyone gets a break from childcare. I did a lot of cooking and yard work while babywearing. It was all so much harder when I had a second and a 3 year old underfoot meant I could nap with the baby. |
Anonymous
| Could you have family come help for a few weeks so you can get back on your feet a little? |
Anonymous
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What exactly is the issue? I think you have to be specific because there’s a zillion ways you can be overwhelmed.
Likely, you need a sleep training coach. If you’re several months into it, baby should be waking at most once a night. I didn’t feel like a normal person until 3 months of getting 8 hours of sleep a night. |
Anonymous
NP-Crawl back under your slime-covered rock. You and your unfortunate ilk are the reason people are reluctant to ask for help. |
Anonymous
| No answers just want to validate! I'm frequently overwhelmed by thr amount of mess in our house after having kids and my husband just shouts to hire cleaners! ( we do once a month but frankly need to spend hours cleaning the clutter before they come and the process of finding good ones is just exhausting that after multiple cleaners in past few years I just stick to the one that work around my work and kids nap schedule) - the interviewing and managing hired help is then yet another project |
Anonymous
| If they came once a week they could handle clutter. |
Anonymous
Genuinely curious, how? They do stuff like clean tubs, toilets, etc... the clutter grows immediately somehow with kids jackets, toys, shoes, laundry, burp clothes, bottles, etc everywhere. I know a friend that has a nanny that does lot of daily tidying and clothing sorting but am curious how a weekly cleaner would help the clutter |
Anonymous
| Hire a cleaning lady once a week. |
Anonymous
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What you are looking for does not sound like a postpartum doula. They are more for immediate newborn stage and focused on getting you and baby sleep.
I would consider the following: a good nanny will not need micromanaging. They will tidy your house, do laundry, take care of baby. Especially if you only have one baby. If you have unlimited finances, hire weekly cleaning on top of this. Consider a meal delivery service. vegetable and butcher is great. Take meals off the table a few days a week. Good luck. |