WWYD with ang

[Anonymous]

Ex is incensed I am in an LTR 8y after we split and that SO of >1y has met and occasionally spent time with DC. Is sending hateful messages calling me a whore and withholding his share of childrens’ expenses.

From what I have read this is not an uncommon reaction. Have tried blocking and that only caused escalation.

[Anonymous]

What does this mean? Withholding expenses? He pays child support. If he's not paying go to court. Or, are you just demanding money without an agreement? Did you cheat? If you block him, he cannot see his kid. You need to do a regular schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does this mean? Withholding expenses? He pays child support. If he's not paying go to court. Or, are you just demanding money without an agreement? Did you cheat? If you block him, he cannot see his kid. You need to do a regular schedule.

He’s paying support that is based on old income. In addition to child support we split additional expenses proportional to income as stipulated by our support agreement. He can communicate independently with kids via kids cellphone.

Did not cheat. He was physically and verbally abusive to me and kids. Has relatively little custody time and does not use it all.

[Anonymous]

1. Train him to only communicate via email. It’s easier for documentation. Make sure he is in your contacts as his real name (not Jerk Face, etc). I’ve seen judges get really angry at people who have their ex in their phone by some other name.

2. Train yourself to recognize his patterns so that you react intellectually instead of emotionally. My ex resorts to ad hominem attacks when he doesn’t have a logical argument. So when I get one of those emails, I know I’ve won the argument. It helps with the fear/anxiety.

3. Set some boundaries around when you respond. I only respond to things about our child, and only after 48+ hours. He can harass me all he wants; he’ll get a response in a few days if there is something to respond to. Obviously if it were an emergency, things would be different, but it’s rarely an emergency. When I do have to respond, I respond as neutrally as possible. If my ex called me a whore, I would ignore it because it’s not child-focused. You could also say “thanks for letting me know.”

4. For financial stuff, keep really good records, receipts, etc. Talk to your lawyer about getting reimbursed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this mean? Withholding expenses? He pays child support. If he's not paying go to court. Or, are you just demanding money without an agreement? Did you cheat? If you block him, he cannot see his kid. You need to do a regular schedule.

He’s paying support that is based on old income. In addition to child support we split additional expenses proportional to income as stipulated by our support agreement. He can communicate independently with kids via kids cellphone.

Did not cheat. He was physically and verbally abusive to me and kids. Has relatively little custody time and does not use it all.

Get your CS order updated to reflect current incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this mean? Withholding expenses? He pays child support. If he's not paying go to court. Or, are you just demanding money without an agreement? Did you cheat? If you block him, he cannot see his kid. You need to do a regular schedule.

He’s paying support that is based on old income. In addition to child support we split additional expenses proportional to income as stipulated by our support agreement. He can communicate independently with kids via kids cellphone.

Did not cheat. He was physically and verbally abusive to me and kids. Has relatively little custody time and does not use it all.

Get your CS order updated to reflect current incomes.

She may get less if she gets support and expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this mean? Withholding expenses? He pays child support. If he's not paying go to court. Or, are you just demanding money without an agreement? Did you cheat? If you block him, he cannot see his kid. You need to do a regular schedule.

He’s paying support that is based on old income. In addition to child support we split additional expenses proportional to income as stipulated by our support agreement. He can communicate independently with kids via kids cellphone.

Did not cheat. He was physically and verbally abusive to me and kids. Has relatively little custody time and does not use it all.

Get your CS order updated to reflect current incomes.

She may get less if she gets support and expenses.

Maybe but she’ll be less subject to his tantrums when hrs a court ordered amount.