Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lucas
Carter

You are of Asian descent. Perhaps Chinese? You met your husband at an Ivy league college on the East coast (both grew up in CA.) After graduation, you decided to move back to CA. (Although, this time to Northern CA, as opposed to Southern CA were you originally came from.) Boys are 7 and 11 now. They are both good students and athletes. You are conscientious about NOT being perceived as a "tiger mom" (which you actually are not) so you go out of your way to give your children enough leisure time and non-pressured activities. You are currently undergoing fertility treatments for secondary fertility. It has been 2 years now, and if the next procedure fails, you will just count your blessings and move on. You are in the process of planning a trip to China and Hong Kong with the family for the following summer. Your husband and you have all over Asia and Africa, and you want to expose the boys to many different cultures, especially one where they have a connection to. Surprisingly, both boys dislike Chinese food, and have a penchant for Italian food. Perhaps a trip to Italy will be in the future, as well? Life is good. No complaints...Except for your husband being a workaholic, and not around enough for quality time. Hopefully, the couples therapy you are in will work wonders. And, if now, you are considering an affair with your sexy fertility doctor!!!

An interesting interpretation, until the first sentence after the elipsis I thought you would be wrong On every county. THat, in and of itself, would have been a feat- you should try your hand at Keno. Thanks for the enjoyable, but oh so off base, read!

[Anonymous]

Daniella

[Anonymous]

Caitlin
Logan
Liam

[Anonymous]

Ethan and Gavin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Who are you guys?

Wait. Why are you posting here if you live .... well, there? Are you planning another move?

I'm not her.

Are you TKL?

Nope

[Anonymous]

DD1 Elise
DD2 Charlotte

(they are twins)

[Anonymous]

I am loving this thread!

Rachel
Patrick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abigail (Abby)
Lucy
Jack

You are a petite blonde who drives a big white SUV and lives in McLean. Abby and Lucy wear clothes from Janie & Jack that your MIL buys on sale. You tend to shop more at Gymboree. You were worried that Lucy would be chubby, but she is growing taller now and slimming down. You work part time in marketing; DH is a lawyer and he works long hours. Your parents have a house in the Outer Banks and you go there several times a year. You often wind up there for a week in the summer with your sister & her family, which is fun for the kids, but just makes you want to drink. You spend a lot of time during those weeks exercising.

You briefly considered going for a little brother for Jack, but you have worked hard through diet & exercise to get back into bikini shape and you are loathe to get pregnant again. You put on a good show for your friends/family of feeding your kids very healthy food, but often slack off and let them get slurpies and gummy worms from 7-11.

You have a lot of projects going at home that you never finish. Scrapbooking, refinishing an old dresser, etc. You throw a big Halloween party every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ethan and Gavin

Ethan is adorable and Gavin is a holy terror. You love them more than your DH. You were thrilled to have boys - you couldn't deal with little girl drama and you much prefer hiking/biking/etc. to dolls & princesses. You like your job and pretend that you wish you were a SAHM. But, you get frustrated dealing with all the stuff on the home front and are constantly a little disheveled, a little disorganized, last-minute, etc. DH sometimes gets annoyed that you're always running around trying to get things done (because it makes him feel guilty that he's not doing more....but honestly it's just so much easier to get it done yourself than to have him do it...wrong...).

Your mother makes you feel guilty about a million things and you are glad that you moved to DC and don't have to deal with her anymore on a regular basis. Your brother, who still lives in the same town with your parents, occasionally calls you up to berate you for not coming to visit your parents more. Really he is just annoyed because you have a much more interesting life and more money.

Speaking of money...it's a little tight. DH was unemployed for 6 months last year and you realized just how much you were spending on stupid little stuff. You were totally annoyed to give up your monthly pedicures. DH wound up taking a $10k pay cut in order to get a new job and he doesn't really like the new job and continues to look - which means that you have to continue living on a stricter budget, just in case.

Hope is on the horizon, though. You're up for a promotion in the fall and, if you get it, you'll get a nice salary bump. Good luck, we're routing for you!

[Anonymous]

Rachel
Patrick

Both kids attended private school. Rachel is headed off to a small but good liberal arts college in the fall; she's on the quiet side and thinks she might major in literature. Patrick (not Pat) is going to be a sophomore, and your husband puts a lot of pressure on him to do well in school and excel in sports. He's on the baseball team and used to be a swimmer. He's also a little shy, but you're trying to get him to be more of a go-getter, with hopes he'll have a good career in finance or law.

You stayed at home when the kids were young, and now work part-time for a large charity organization you once volunteered for. Your husband is a lobbyist. You are not overly obsessed with your appearance, but are always nicely put together. You don't do much cooking, but have a gorgeous kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Rachel
Patrick

Both kids attended private school. Rachel is headed off to a small but good liberal arts college in the fall; she's on the quiet side and thinks she might major in literature. Patrick (not Pat) is going to be a sophomore, and your husband puts a lot of pressure on him to do well in school and excel in sports. He's on the baseball team and used to be a swimmer. He's also a little shy, but you're trying to get him to be more of a go-getter, with hopes he'll have a good career in finance or law.

You stayed at home when the kids were young, and now work part-time for a large charity organization you once volunteered for. Your husband is a lobbyist. You are not overly obsessed with your appearance, but are always nicely put together. You don't do much cooking, but have a gorgeous kitchen.

Well, the bolded part is true! They are not even school-aged yet, so I will report back in 15 or so years.

[Anonymous]

Preston & Skye (boy twins)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD1 Elise
DD2 Charlotte

(they are twins)

The girls are 11, and since they were old enough to compare themselves to each other, Elise has asked why you hate her and how old she has to be to change her name. She firmly feels you gave Charlotte the better name. You offered to call her Ellie, but she still feels that's awful. Charlotte offered to share her name, so for a while Elise got everyone calling her Charlie, but you can not call your daughters by the same name. Elise is counting down the days until she is 18 and can change her name to Portia. Your sister took you out one night, got you drunk, and got you to confess you're worried Elise will grow up with aspirations to be a stripper. You cried at the idea of her throwing away her (other) dream of being a nurse practitioner because she wants to help people. Charlotte, always the level-headed one, wants to become a midwife, figuring by the time she's old enough to do that she won't think it's gross anymore.

Elise's attitude has ramped up a lot lately. Her walls are plastered with pictures of Gia Guidice from Real Housewives of New Jersey, and you won't let her watch the show anymore. You're pretty sure she sneaks it when you're not at home, or when she's at a friend's house. Elise says she wouldn't mind how much of a hard time you give her if like Theresa, you also gave her an iPhone, huge catered parties, and everything Gia gets.

Charlotte confessed that she misses her twin, but has thrown herself into competitive gymnastics, horseback riding and travel soccer to console herself. DH is worried she's doing too much but keeps paying the bills. He just wants his girls to be happy. He told you Elise's name should have been Alyssa or Eliza! For the most part, DH lets you do whatever you want with the girls. He works long hours and travels sometimes (you think he goes to strip clubs on business trips but have no proof), so spoils all of you to make up for being away so much. That's how you got your Lexus SUV. And how Charlotte got her horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I thought I was too late to this thread and it was finished! Please do our family!!

DS: Francis
DD1: Hazel
DD2: Eveline

You grew up in Oregon and Seattle. You went to the East Coast for college. Majored in childhood education, with an emphasis on Montessori. One of the requirements before your first Montessori teaching job was to take a CPR/First aid course. You fell in love with the instructor, and soon began doing "CPR" in the bedroom (not on a dummy in the classroom You were relieved to discover that the instructor was also a doctor, and raking in the dough!!! You got married, and taught in a Montessori school (taking maternity leave for each child, and returning to the classroom. SAH is not for you.) Lately, you have been seriously considering taking the kids abroad for a year to see the world! Husband is in favor of this, as well. You are both adventurous travelers, and need a change of pace, so the time seems to be right for this.

So, so well done and so bizarrely accurate re:where DH and I met. He wasn't the instructor but a fellow classmate in a CPR class, but seriously, with that level of detail I think we can overlook it! I am from Seattle, did attend school on the East Coast, and while I didn't major in ECE I nannied for several years before becoming a math teacher (and DO love Montessori). Husband is not a doctor and (to DC's standards) isn't raking in the dough, but we're very happy and do have money set aside to take the children traveling, which we did quite a lot of before they came along. THANK YOU! What a blast!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I thought I was too late to this thread and it was finished! Please do our family!!

DS: Francis
DD1: Hazel
DD2: Eveline

All family names of course! You liked Francis because it seems edgy to give a boy a name that isn't masculine. You like Hazel, but wish all the hipsters weren't coping you. Eveline still seems like an excellent choice.

You and DH met when you lived in the same coop at Ann Arbor during senior year. At first you thought that he smoked too much weed, and maybe was just using his knowledge of feminist theory to meet girls, but he always did his chores and never tried to dominate house meeting-so you grew to respect him, and he's cute. He was dreaming of living off the land on a family property in MI, but you wanted to pursue your career and took a job with an international non-profit in DC. You both though marriage was anti-feminist, but he needed to get on your insurance, so you had a civil ceremony. His family was appalled, but you were only the tiniest bit concerned about his inheritance-they would never actually cut him out. He stayed home with kids when they are young, but now he's back to teaching middle school science. It's kind of embarrassing in DC to tell people that, which just makes you ashamed for being embarrassed, but he really is an excellent teacher-and there's his trust, so it's not a money issue.

Francis is a sensitive redhead, and no amount of rewarding him for being a big boy or a big brother ever really motivated him. You imagine him studying classics at University of Chicago, and marrying a (hopefully female) librarian. Although she's the middle child, Hazel seems like the oldest. She's tough and bossy and bugs you to do every activity around. Evie is princess, princess, princess, and you and DH argue about how much you should humor you. Neither of you have staked out a firm position, so you just go around about it and get a chance to rehash your old feminist theory arguments from you college days.

This was also really delightful to read with enough nuggets of truth to be convincing. Well done, PP, and thank you! This was great fun.