50/50 with three kids, partially splitting up the kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Three young kids, trying to figure out custody. Both parents want (and want the other to have) 50/50. Considering having one parent take one kid and the other parent the other two certain days a week, then switching. Anyone do this? I know a lot of the responses will be about what a logistical nightmare this is, but there are mitigating factors that will make it easier (houses five minutes away from each other, flexible work schedules, all kids in same school, local family support). |
Anonymous
| ^^also each parent would have two full nights with all three, so kids will have four days a week with all siblings together. |
Anonymous
| Why? |
Anonymous
|
Sounds horrific for the children. Why would you consider this?
Signed, one of three siblings with divorced parents |
Anonymous
|
I want you to think how you would like to live in a different house for a week at a time and keep switching. Kids don’t want this. Don’t do it.
The one with the most time has them primarily. Other one has every other weekend plus time during the week after school/evenings but they go back to sleep in their main bed/bedroom. If you live 5 mins from each other there’s no reason the non primary parent can’t see the kids on their non time. |
Anonymous
| I have no experience with this, but my instincts tell me this is a horrible thing to do to the kids who are already in an awful situation. |
Anonymous
| OMG totally unfair to the kids who are really going to need each other to get through this. The approach you suggest would eliminate any stability at all for them. |
Anonymous
| No, do not split up the kids. What a crazy idea. |
Anonymous
| This is OP. I appreciate the honest if harsh feedback. We were seeing it as an opportunity for a lot of one on one time for each kid with each parent. They're very close in age and don't get a lot of individual time with the parents because we're all five together 24/7. Thought it would be nice for them to each have a special day a week where they're the center of attention with mom or dad and get to do their favorite things with them. 4 days a week they would all be together, then two days they'd be with one sibling. |
Anonymous
| This sounds like codependent parents who can’t bear being alone - your willingness to strip your kids of engagement with siblings because you two choose to divorce is kind of staggering. |
Anonymous
| Just schedule a one-on-one evening or outing with each parent/kid once a month. Don't make it so complicated and unstable. |
Anonymous
Do the 24/7 together was led to a broken home and you’re trying to recreate it but by removing a parent and the siblings? I’d rethink. |
Anonymous
+1 Keep it simple. |
Anonymous
Agreed. I think this will feel less like a normal family and more like a psych experiment. You are making a false assumption that 1:1 time is important compared to togetherness time. The default state of families is togetherness time. "Quality Time" is an invention of modern capitalist parenting. |
Anonymous
This is really unfair. One night a week they would be without their siblings. If an intact family had a parent take their kid one a special outing once a week would you say this? Is my ex allowed to take any of my kids on a one on one dinner without "stripping my kids of engagement". |