New cancer diagnosis

[Anonymous]

My father was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. He has his first meeting with an oncologist at a cancer center tomorrow. He believes they will recommend treatment and he is willing to try it. He is 77, in ok health. What questions should I be asking tomorrow as I’ll be on the phone during the appointment because I live several hours away. My mom is a bit under the weather so she isn’t sure she can go with my dad. Resources? Suggestions? Things to avoid? Please be gentle. I just found out today as he was waiting to share until they knew what the small mass was in his lung.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry for this hard news and I’m sending good thoughts to you and your family.

It sounds like your dad is competent and making his own decisions. I would focus on what treatment will look like so that you can make plans for care and support. Depending on distance and what will be involved, you may want to consider an independent care coordinator. You’re going to think of ten questions the next day, so be sure to get a handle on who to contact about what.

Remember this is your first meeting and you will probably not get all of your answers. Ask about and look into family support programs affiliated with the hospital (you may get more information from nurses than the doctor).

Our hospital has an alternative treatment center. It’s not meant to replace western medicine but to complement it. They have a variety of things from massage to acupuncture to yoga and nutrition plus counseling. It’s very helpful and available for family members too. In addition to the services, it’s a nice way to meet other patients and families that isn’t sitting in a circle and saying, welp, cancer? Yeah, cancer. Definitely ask about anything similar.

Keep notes in your phone or on paper, whatever works for you. It’s so much to take in. Listen to your dad.

[Anonymous]

Where does he live?
Try USC for a second opinion if near LA.
https://ellisonmedicalinstitute.org/clinic/

[Anonymous]

Op, he is 77. He should probably just do what the dr tells him to do. I am sorry this happened to him.

[Anonymous]

My sister was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer that had spread to other major organs. Apparently, small cell is harder to treat. Her oncologist was forthright. Without chemo, she would likely survive for 4 months. With chemo, 12 -15 months. She committed to chemo and died within 9 months. She never mentioned regrets, but she didn’t have a great quality of life during that time. I agree with the poster who mentioned taking notes. My sister’s oncologist also had a NP who could answer questions too. Hugs. It’s a lot of information.

[Anonymous]

77 and cancer, the outcome is unfortunately quite grim. I would start by making SURE his affairs/living will are in order. It's going to be either a long or short road of drs appt, invasive procedures, treatments with long term unpleasant side effects, and then hospice.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry op. I agree with pp. make sure beneficiaries are set up on all accounts, his will is up to date, you know his washed. Chemo is a bear. My dad did 2 weeks and then said he couldn’t take it anymore
If he does decide to do chemo, then you’ll probably have to take him in to get a port placed. That’s a surgical procedure. I’m so sorry. Cancer sucks.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all of the insights. We found out today it’s stage 1. He’s in northern Indiana and will do a consult with another oncologist. He and my mom have all of their affairs in order including beneficiaries, living will, medical power of attorney, and passwords/account number/etc written down. They have an executor of the estate who lives in state so it doesn’t fall to us. My mom is in good health and able to provide support and care. Thank you again for the helpful responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all of the insights. We found out today it’s stage 1. He’s in northern Indiana and will do a consult with another oncologist. He and my mom have all of their affairs in order including beneficiaries, living will, medical power of attorney, and passwords/account number/etc written down. They have an executor of the estate who lives in state so it doesn’t fall to us. My mom is in good health and able to provide support and care. Thank you again for the helpful responses.

Thank you for updating OP, I’m glad that it’s stage 1. I know this is such a difficult time and I am sending you and your family good thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all of the insights. We found out today it’s stage 1. He’s in northern Indiana and will do a consult with another oncologist. He and my mom have all of their affairs in order including beneficiaries, living will, medical power of attorney, and passwords/account number/etc written down. They have an executor of the estate who lives in state so it doesn’t fall to us. My mom is in good health and able to provide support and care. Thank you again for the helpful responses.

Thank you for updating OP, I’m glad that it’s stage 1. I know this is such a difficult time and I am sending you and your family good thoughts.

Thank you for the kind words. It’s nice to see the kindness of people in this wild world.

[Anonymous]

Alkaline food, no sugar, fasting, lots of sunlight, yoga, sleep, social connections.