Tips for holding it together for your kids while you're going through a divorce

[Anonymous]

Give me your best tips please. I need to show up and be there for my kids, who are young. I don't want my depression and crying jags to make this even harder for them. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Do something nice for yourself ..
Hair, Nails, Makeup, A fitness class

Lean into any friends/family who are aware of your divorce and are supportive.
Surround yourself with positive..

[Anonymous]

Be super codependent

-my mom

[Anonymous]

I wake up and tell myself, "This is not your worst day. You can be devastated on your worst day."

It's usually enough for me to get up and get the day started. Then I stay as busy as possible. At the end of the day, when my mind has time to wander, I like to go to bed early.

Sometimes it's okay to just get through today. Rinse and repeat every day.

[Anonymous]

Assemble a close group of friends and family to support you- that you tell everything too. You need heavy emotional support- from adults, but you don't want to overwhelm any 1 person, so spread it out. I have also found my male friends don't have the emotional bandwidth to listen to all of it, so I don't include them.

I have about 10 close women who support me and help me get through each day

[Anonymous]

And if you believe in God, go to Church. I have found that spiritual connection to really help me in my time of need.

[Anonymous]

And get a good therapist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give me your best tips please. I need to show up and be there for my kids, who are young. I don't want my depression and crying jags to make this even harder for them. Thank you.

Had friends on speed dial and daily texting, asked friends to check on me, accepted social invites when I had the energy. Had therapy at least once a week and twice a week when really challenged. Cried daily and feeling feelings helped. Prayed for clarify and willingness and journaled daily. Sat in silence as needed in am and evening. Tried to walk as often as possible. Slept more and went to bed early. Went to church and sang the hymns with gusto! It was very hard. I filed. I did it. You can too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if you believe in God, go to Church. I have found that spiritual connection to really help me in my time of need.[/quote
Stfu no one is interested in that here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you believe in God, go to Church. I have found that spiritual connection to really help me in my time of need.[/quote
Stfu no one is interested in that here.

That is so sad. I wish you peace and healing.

[Anonymous]

Get a babysitter at least once a week so you have time for yourself. What did you enjoy doing before you had kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you believe in God, go to Church. I have found that spiritual connection to really help me in my time of need.[/quote
Stfu no one is interested in that here.

That is so sad. I wish you peace and healing.

It's so sad that most people are not interested in recommendations to go to church? Get a life - I wish you enlightenment and an increase in intelligence and common sense.

OP, the tough answer here is that you just do what needs to be done and pull it together for your kids. They are depending on you. Keep in mind you are the adult and they are the children and manage your emotions without relying on validation from them. If you can get into therapy, that will really help. Check your benefits at work, a lot of places have a mental health benefit as part of their EAP now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And get a good therapist

This. You need someone who can be in your corner without the complication of being a friend or relative. Knowing that you have a set appointment time to process what’s happening can help you let things go in the moment and be present for your kids. Therapy might seem indulgent, but it’s really about creating spaces to be there for your kids AND other spaces to be there for yourself.

Good luck to you.